


Killing the Past

by bai_solo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Bond Shenanigans, Post-Canon, Sexual Content, Sexual Humor, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It, The Force Ships It, ben lives in this one, dont say i didnt warn you, i think we know what im talking about, lots of sexual tags, we're all thirsty for ben solo, with some non-canon things
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:49:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 28,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22626625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bai_solo/pseuds/bai_solo
Summary: Rey longs for a good night's rest.Nightmares of Exegol have plagued her dreams ever since the war ended, and are made exponentially worse the longer Ben is gone on whatever "mission" he had to take care of. Upon his return, Rey hopes her bad dreams will subside, but she has a vision of Ben being killed by someone in a First Order uniform, while she stands by helplessly.The pair heads to Coruscant for some much-needed rest and relaxation, and perhaps to begin to navigate the start of a relationship, but their plans are quickly dashed when a band of bounty hunters ruin their first date. The attempt on Ben's life sets in motion a plan to defeat the remains of Ben's former life with the First Order, and kill the past once and for all, so the dyad can begin living a worry-free life.
Relationships: Finn/Rose Tico, Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 36
Kudos: 128
Collections: Star Wars, The Rise of Skywalker: Fix-It Fic Edition





	1. Prolouge

**Author's Note:**

> i ended up deleting this because i thought i was going to focus my energy on another project, but here i am, boo boo the fool, reposting it again. enjoi.

"Ben?" Rey whispered hopefully, but she had her answer as soon as his face lit up with a foreign expression - a smile.

Her heart leapt from her chest and felt as though it was soaring. Ben was here, right in front of her, smiling. She brought her hand to his cheek and began to lean in, but hesitated for a moment, second-guessing her impulse.

Please, she heard him ask over their bond. Ben's request was somewhere between a timid question and a desperate demand. She continued to lean forward, and he met her lips with a kiss - a kiss that should’ve lasted much longer, a kiss that spoke a thousand words between the two. She felt the light in him. She knew Ben was here to stay.

Rey pulled back, wanting a moment to become lost in his deep brown eyes before returning to the Resistance base. The pair smiled at each other, a smile that almost said they couldn't believe they'd made it this far, that they were finally here, with each other. It was a smile full of promise, anticipation, and hope.

The bond suddenly went blank in Rey's mind, and Ben fell backwards in her arms. He had used all of his strength to save her.

Adrenaline flooded through her veins. She was not about to lose him. Not now. Not after everything. No.

Instinctively, she placed her hand over his heart, closed her eyes, and concentrated with every fiber of her being to summon the Force. As if it had been awaiting her call, she instantly felt the Force course through her, a familiar and welcomed sensation that she was no longer afraid of. She focused her power into her left hand, the hand placed over Ben's heart, and sent a shock of Force lightning jolting into his chest.

He jerked awake with a start, frantically taking in his surroundings with a look that embodied confusion and terror, until he saw Rey. She felt his mind piecing together the events that had taken place, and the terror and confusion faded from his bloodied face.

"We have to go," urged Rey, jerking Ben off the floor with one hand while she used her free one to summon her saber. Ben stumbled to his feet, surprised again by her strength, and, with Rey as a crutch, limped towards their ships. 


	2. Chapter 2

Six Weeks Later

  
Rey couldn’t sleep. Every time she tried, nightmares of Exegol plagued her dreams. She dreamt of every what-if imaginable: what if she had turned? What if she had taken the throne? What if she would’ve had to face the Emperor herself, with no help from Ben? What if she hadn’t been able to save Ben? What if she saved him, and he ends up getting himself killed on whatever “mission” he told her he had to take care of after they returned to the Resistance base? The nightmares she had were gruesome and visceral, exploring every fear in depth, never failing to jerk her back to reality feeling like she had barely escaped drowning. Sleeping medication and meditation didn’t help, and she felt like her friends wouldn’t understand because they weren’t there; they didn’t see what she saw or feel what she felt or know what really happened, and she didn’t have the heart to bring them to her level. Her friends were strong, brave warriors, but she knew if any of them knew a fraction of what she’d gone through, they would crack. 

After building her own lightsaber, she returned Luke and Leia’s to Tatooine. It felt like she buried a piece of herself on that planet, but the Force urged her to do it. Without either of her mentors left in the galaxy, she was in charge of deciphering the push and pull of the Force by herself, and with each passing day it seemed to become clearer and simultaneously more complicated.

The bond Rey shared with Ben had been almost silent. She could only occasionally catch glimpses of his feelings if she isolated herself and focused hard enough on the Force. He was either intentionally hiding his whereabouts from her, or his powers had weakened slightly when he turned to the Light, and their bond had been severed. She tried not to let herself dwell on why this was happening, but it ate at her like acid. The person she felt closest to, the one who could truly understand her, was parsecs away, and was shutting her out. It didn’t make her sad; it made her furious.

Finn had been sensitive to how she was feeling. He could sense her energy was conflicted, but didn’t want to push her to talk about it, so instead he was just annoyingly nice. Rey knew what he was doing and hated herself for wanting him to shut up sometimes, but she appreciated the sentiment. Poe was no different than before – perhaps a bit less cocky, but more sure of himself – and that helped a little. Finn had been much more accepting of Ben’s arrival on base than Poe had been, but Poe trusted his friends’ judgment and relented on the hostility for the single night Ben had rested before leaving.

Celebrations at the Resistance base involving fireworks and oceans of alcohol encompassed the first week after the war was over, but most people had partied themselves to exhaustion and liver damage, so the festivities had died down for the most part. Soldiers returned to their lives before the war, or if war was all they’d known, they sought out a permanent home with their comrades. Around fifteen Resistance fighters remained on base currently, including Rey and her friends. Poe was at least a little drunk every night and flirted with any female he could find, no matter what species. His antics were funny at first, but soon became annoying to Rey. Each time she saw him kissing someone, she felt a pang in her soul, almost as if she’d reached out to take hold of something that was no longer in front of her. Ben had been the only one she’d ever kissed, and in spite of herself, she missed him.

“Target practice still on?” Poe asked with a mouth full of breakfast.

“I’m game!” Rose said excitedly, her face lighting up. “What about you, Finn?”

“No,” he groaned, holding a cold pack to his forehead. “I’m way too hungover for that this morning.”

“Amateur,” Poe scoffed in response, taking a swig of his caf. He shuttered at the bitterness. “Drink some of this. It’ll sober you up with the taste alone.” He waved his mug in Finn’s face, splashing a little on the table in front of Rey. She hadn’t said anything and was hoping she wouldn’t have the attention turned to her. She was never a morning person, and since being haunted by horrific dreams, her distaste for waking up had increased tenfold.

“You look like you could use some of this too,” offered Poe.

“Thanks,” she shot at him, rubbing her eyes. He didn’t say anything else and stood up, grabbing his trey and mug and taking them to the kitchen to wash them.

“Nightmares still?” asked Finn, but Rey knew he already knew the answer.

“Yeah.” Her voice was so defeated. She longed for a good night’s rest.

“When is Ben coming back?” Finn asked in a hushed tone. Rey shrugged her shoulders and stared intently at the drops of caf spilled on the table in front of her. 

“I don’t know,” she answered shortly, trying to sound more annoyed than hurt.

“He’ll be back soon,” assured Rose. She reached across the table and touched Rey’s shoulder. “He’d never be able to stay away from you for too long.”

Rey couldn’t help but crack a smile. She hoped Rose was right.

She excused herself from joining her friends in target practice to run the familiar training course, even though some good company could probably do her well. They’d come to understand she needed her space at times, even if they didn’t quite understand why. Sometimes she didn’t even understand why. She felt herself becoming more of a hermit, and found the irony in how she couldn’t comprehend why Luke had isolated himself from civilization. Sometimes, the galaxy is just too much for a person.

Rey passed each day by training excessively with her new saber; it was the only time she felt truly herself. Training was becoming mundane, but when she was running the course and allowing the Force to guide her, she felt at peace. It was the only time she’d felt at peace over the last six weeks. 

_You can’t even find solace in slumber_ , she heard the thoughts taunt from the darkest part of her mind. _You’re not a Jedi; you’re too weak._ She shook the darkness from her mind and kept running, her stride lengthening as she approached a cavern with a river far below. She leapt forward, clearing the gap with ease, and somersaulted under a fallen tree when she landed. Too easy.

 _You can’t run from the darkness forever,_ it taunted again. _It will find you_. Rey lost focus and tripped over a fallen branch, flying forward and scraping her right arm through the holes torn in her tunic by the brush underneath her. Her mind was a whirlwind; it was as if it had kept running but her body stayed behind. She felt confusion and failure wash over her like a tidal wave and instead of trying to make sense of anything, she allowed herself to drown in it. She broke down, heavy sobs shaking her body, crying so hard that no sound came out. The Final Order fleet had been defeated. What purpose did she serve now? What good was the last Jedi when the Dark side had been snuffed out? She had been a hero, and now she was reduced to a heap of a person in the woods covered with blood and tears. 

After what felt like hours of lying in the leaves, Rey gathered the strength to stand and make her way back to the base. She took her time walking back, rubbing the dirt from her face and hoping the tear stains weren’t too obvious to her friends. There wasn’t much she could do about the torn arm of her tunic and the scrape that covered the entirety of her upper arm and shoulder, but she hoped her friends were still at target practice so she wouldn’t have to explain herself more than she already felt like she had to every time she saw them.

When she made it back to the base, everyone was out and about, leaving the quarters to resemble a ghost town. She slumped to her room and closed the door quietly, even though part of her felt like slamming it. She summoned the first aid kit from across the room and stood at the sink, carefully removing her torn tunic so she didn’t rub it against any of her injuries. A shiver traveled down her spine as the cold air kissed her bare skin, and she momentarily wished she was back in the heat of Jakku. Her undershirt was stained with blood, but the thought of being more naked and cold made her insides turn, so she resolved to deal with that later. 

She removed the wound cleaner from the first aid kit and held her arm over the sink as she sprayed the disinfectant on her torn skin. The pain made her wince, but she gritted her teeth and powered through. Once she’d finished cleaning it, she spread a thick layer of bacta over a handful of sanitary medical pads and used the gauze to tie them to her arm. She held her arm straight out, away from her body, and used the Force to wrap the gauze around it. She momentarily thought of Ben and wished he was here to care for her, but pushed him out of her mind quickly. Rey was strong and she could take care of herself.

Once her arm was bandaged, she turned to her dresser and rummaged through the top drawer to find a change of clothing. She threw a grey tunic and black pants onto the bed behind her and kicked off her boots and dirt-covered leggings. She discarded her blood-stained undershirt and didn’t bother finding another one before dressing herself, thankful to have her skin protected from the cold air inside the base. She donned her belt and attached her saber to it, slipped on her worn out boots, and headed for the lookout post she liked to frequent when she needed to meditate.

She climbed the ladder, which proved to be much more difficult with an injured arm. She set her jaw and overcame the pain, triumphant when she finally pulled herself to the lookout deck. Built into the tallest tree within a mile of the base, it made for a beautiful view, especially for someone who’d only seen sand her whole life. If she could live on Ajan Kloss without the constant reminder of war, she would.

Rey took a deep breath, reaching out to the Force, and it answered her call, bringing a wave of peace crashing down on her. She sat in its presence and listened to memories of her training with Luke play in her mind. Breathe. Let go. Reach out. Become one with the Force and the life around you. Welcome it. Become it.

“Be with me,” she whispered. Immediately, she felt something stir in the back of her mind: Ben. He’d heard her call.

“Ben?” she asked, trying to keep her voice steady and her mind focused. Her mind was dark; she couldn’t see where he was, but she felt him there. 

He didn’t answer her.

“Ben.” She spoke more firmly, stating his name instead of asking it. He remained closed off. She felt the anger rise from the pit of her stomach, and every surface of her skin felt hot. She said his name again, almost as a demand. Still, nothing.

“Why won’t you just fucking answer me?” she screamed, breaking her concentration. The bond flickered and then extinguished.

She laid back onto the deck, grabbing handfuls of her hair in frustration. It was crystal clear to her now: he was intentionally blocking their connection. She didn’t care that he was gone – that's what she told herself, at least – but gods it was maddening not being able to connect with him at all.

Her mind wandered to their kiss, as it often had over the last month, and part of her wished it had never happened, because then being shut out wouldn’t hurt so badly.


	3. Chapter 3

_“Strike her down, and become the rightful ruler of the galaxy!” The Emperor’s voice was shrill, cracking every other syllable. Rey stood, her feet shackled to the floor, unable to move. She saw Kylo turn to her and without hesitation, he grabbed her saber from her belt, ignited it, and jabbed it into her abdomen. The pain was blinding. Her vision went white. She grasped at her stomach, feeling blood pour out over her hands and arms. Kylo stepped forward and whispered in her ear: “It’s a dream, but you won’t be saved when you wake up.”_

Rey jolted awake, heart racing, beads of cold sweat dripping down her face. She’d fallen asleep in the lookout tower. Based on the position of the sun, she’d been asleep for a while, and the sun was about to set. The clouds were pale pink and orange, and the sight of them calmed her racing heart. She sat up, wiping the sweat from her forehead, and breathed deeply. She was alive, and the Dark side was nothing but a whisper in the wind. Kylo Ren no longer existed either. She shuddered at the memory of her dream and tried to force it from her mind, breathing in deeply and exhaling slowly, willing her body to release the tension it held onto. After half an hour, Rey felt normal, or at least “normal” for her recently. She’d slept, but not well; she almost felt more tired than before.

Rey rubbed her face, as if she could scrub the exhaustion from it, and groaned. Perhaps she could take residence in this lookout and never have to interact with anyone again. The thought of explaining herself to anyone about what she’d done today was soul-crushing. Nevertheless, she knew she couldn’t actually live there, so she clamored down the ladder and dragged herself back to base.

When she arrived, her friends were sitting next to Poe’s ship, talking and laughing and eating. They waved her over and she regretfully obliged, wanting nothing more than to keep walking. She quickly gathered they were discussing their plans for the future, now that the war was over. Poe planned on moving to Tatooine, supposedly for the remoteness of the terrain and simple lifestyle, but he wasn’t fooling anyone; they knew he was going there to live amongst other smugglers and criminals. Rose’s dreams were grand as always: she wanted to open up her own mechanic ship, cruising around whatever system she wished, and repairing any and all ships that came to her for help. Finn didn’t have much of an idea of what he wanted to do, other than answer only to himself. When it came time to hear Rey’s answer, she realized she didn’t have one.

“I haven’t really planned out my next move,” she explained. “I’m not the best at planning ahead.”

“Well, whatever you decide to do, you’re always welcome on our doorsteps and in our hangars,” said Rose with a contagious smile. Poe and Finn nodded in agreement. Rey smiled thankfully at them and nodded in acknowledgment. 

The sound of a ship breaking into the atmosphere caused their heads to snap skyward. The bond in the back of Rey’s mind glowed for the first time in too long.

“Look, it’s the Falcon!” Rose screamed and pointed towards the sky. It was the Falcon, all right. And black smoke was coming from it.

“Shit,” Rey groaned. Everyone jumped to their feet and took off to where the Falcon would be landing in seconds. Finn grabbed a flame extinguisher and, carrying it like a baby, sprinted after the group. The ship hit the ground with a crash and the metal scraped across the landing pad, throwing sparks into the air, almost igniting the brush around it. 

The ramp fell with a clang as Rey rushed aboard. The ship was full of smoke and Ben was coughing violently. She rushed to the cockpit and started flipping switches and pushing buttons and pulling cables. 

“What did you do to the ship?” she demanded, frantically twisting wires together. 

“This ship has always been a piece of junk and you know it,” he shot back at her. He ran from the cockpit to somewhere else in the ship, still coughing. 

Rey worked quickly to rewire the power from the main generator to the backup. She shocked her fingers a few times before successfully redirecting the power supply, and then followed the smoke to examine the damage. 

“Generator’s shot,” said Rey as she examined the fried power source. “How the hell did you manage this?” 

“This thing is older than I am. Do you really think it’s my fault that the generator finally gave out?” The annoyance in Ben’s voice was growing increasingly apparent. 

“Maybe I do.” Rey matched his intensity. Her words fired off like blaster shots. “What were you doing to cause the generator to catch fire?” 

For the first time in six weeks, Rey looked at him. His face was streaked with ash and soot from attempting to fix the burnt-up generator, his curls were unruly and falling in his eyes, and he was sweating through his grey shirt. Even though Rey was trying to be mad at him for the state of the Falcon, her heart skipped a beat. He was a sight for sore, tired eyes. 

Ben rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly and took a nervous deep breath. “I mean, I definitely wasn’t light speed skipping. Not at all.” He cracked a smile at her and she couldn’t help but smile back. Why was it so hard for her to stay mad at him? She turned back to the generator, examining it to see if there were any salvageable parts that hadn’t burnt to a crisp. 

“I rerouted the power source to the backup, but the backup doesn’t have enough power to run the hyperdrive. That means no jumping to light speed until you get a new generator.” Rey was talking, but Ben didn’t look like he was listening. He was staring at her. 

“Did you listen to a word I just said?” she asked him, raising her voice. 

“Sorry,” he offered, still staring at her. Her heart pounded, but she kept her expression steady. “I really missed you, Rey.” 

She melted right along with the generator. 


	4. Chapter 4

“You could’ve at least let me know you were okay.” Rey was looking everywhere except for at Ben. She tried to hold her voice steady. He knew what she was doing and stepped towards her.

“You know I had to do this alone,” he said, his voice calm and rational.

“Actually, I didn’t, because you didn’t tell me what you were going to do!” Rey was shouting now, her voice echoing through the ship. 

“I didn’t tell you because I knew you would want to come with me!” he yelled back, taking another step forward. “I couldn’t put you in more danger than I already have!”

“I can hold my own and you know it,” she replied angrily, lowering her voice. “Probably better than you can, based on the looks of you right now.” Underneath the soot stains on his skin, she could tell he’d acquired a black eye. He lowered his head and laughed sardonically. 

“You don’t miss a thing, do you?” He looked up at her, a smirk toying with his lips. She wanted to stay angry with him, but her heart wouldn’t let her. Especially when he was smiling at her like that.

“That’s not true,” she answered, smirking back at him. “I missed one thing.” 

She noticed his cheeks turn pink underneath the soot and sweat and bruise when he realized the implication of her comment.

“Rey –” he started, but was cut off by Poe’s voice.

“I think it’s the generator,” he called through the Falcon. “You’ll need a new one before you even want to think of using that hyperdrive again.” He strode into the room with his hands on his hips.

“Yeah, we figured that out already,” Ben huffed.

“He means I figured it out,” Rey injected. “Ben’s a good pilot but a hopeless mechanic.” 

Ben rolled his eyes so hard, Rey was surprised they didn’t pop out of his head. Poe’s eyes darted back and forth between the pair, realized he had probably interrupted something, and nodded while he exited the Falcon without another word. When they were alone again, Ben took another step towards Rey and placed a hand on each of her shoulders. She flinched when he touched her injured one and his eyes filled with concern. 

“What did you do?” he asked, pointing at her right arm.

“I fell.” He didn’t believe her but accepted the answer anyways.

“Uh, yeah. So did I. That’s where the black eye came from,” he lied through his teeth. Rey shook her head at him and laughed.

“You smell awful,” she told him, scrunching her nose. “You need a shower. Maybe two.” 

“A shower sounds delightful right now,” he laughed, wiping the sweat from his forehead, smearing the blackness across his face. He gathered a change of clothes and a few other things, threw them into a bag, and gestured for Rey to lead the way.

She exited the Falcon and Ben followed her closely. She wanted to take his hand and pull him along after her, but she hesitated and thought better of it. She wasn’t going to forgive him that easily for going radio silent on her for over a month. Her mind wandered, and she tried to rationalize kissing him without forgiving him. She knew she couldn’t really do that, but gods, she wanted to, even though he was infuriating to deal with sometimes.

The group headed back to base together. Several soldiers had departed in Rey’s absence, and she gathered they were the only ones left. If the memories of war weren’t so prominent and the rooms weren’t so tiny, she thought the base would make a good permanent home for her. The greenery and sunset and seclusion appealed to her, but she could always venture into the core planets if she needed to. She had a ship, after all. She could salvage parts from the broken-down ships and computers from the base and scrape up enough credits to buy a nicer ship if she wanted. The plan seemed fairly solid; the only hang up was she wanted to see the galaxy on her own terms, not like she’d seen it during the war. She didn’t want to waste her days away on any one planet. 

“What’re your plans, Ben?” Finn asked. “Hopefully you got the whole ‘wanting to take over the galaxy’ thing out of your system.” 

Ben laughed heartily. Rey’s heart skipped a beat at the sound.

“I’d like to just...” he paused and thought for a moment. “I just want to go. Wherever I want and whenever I want to. Contrary to popular belief, I didn’t see a lot of the galaxy during my time with the First Order. The person I used to be saw the galaxy as something to obtain, not something to appreciate and enjoy and savor. So my plan is to do whatever the hell I want.” 

Finn nodded passionately in agreement and reached over Rey to high-five him. “That’s what I’m talking about. We’re both on the same page,” he told Ben. “But you’re not going to get very far with a shot generator.”

“I have a plan for that,” he replied, a cryptic tone in his voice. Rey snapped her head to look up at him, a questioning expression on her face. He winked at her, but didn’t offer any more information.

“I’ve thought about it, and I think I finally decided what I want to do,” Rey spoke up. She felt a smile creeping across her face, but she stifled her laughter. “I think I want to go back to Jakku.”

Everyone stopped dead in their tracks. Rey burst into a fit of laughter at the looks on their faces. Finn shook his head and laughed along with her at her joke.

“Rey, I really thought you were serious,” said Rose, her hand clutching her shirt over her heart. The color had drained from her face, but slowly came back when she saw her friends laughing. Ben shook his head and chuckled at Rey, but she couldn’t tell if he was disappointed or amused.

“And you guys gave me shit for wanting to live on Tatooine,” Poe said indignantly.

“That’s because you actually want to live there!” Rose shouted. “Rey doesn’t actually want to live on Jakku again!”

Poe waved his hand dismissively. “Well, since everyone on the base is gone except for us, I’m going to go finish off the leftover booze and drink myself into a coma. You’re all welcome to join me.” Poe split off from the group and headed towards the base kitchen. 

“I’m going to do some laundry,” said Rose, her eyes darting to Finn.

“I’m uh... also going to do laundry,” said Finn suspiciously. Rose rolled her eyes.

“Guys, I know. You don’t have to hide it from me,” Rey laughed. Rose blushed and Finn shrugged unapologetically. “Have fun with your laundry.” The pair split off from Rey and Ben, holding hands and whispering excitedly as they headed to wherever their destination was. 

“The showers are this way,” Rey explained as she wove through the hallways of the base. “There should be soap in the stalls, but if not, then I guess you’re out of luck.”

“You’re so helpful,” teased Ben as they stepped into the showers. “What about towels?”

Rey scanned the shelves for one, but they were all empty. 

“I think I have one in my room,” she told him. “I’ll be right back.” She headed to her quarters and retrieved a towel for him, her mind wandering to the thought of him taking a shower. She shook the thoughts from her head, reminding herself that she still hadn’t forgiven him. She planned to ask him all the questions racing through her head once he had freshened up. Hopefully she’d get answers.

“Here’s your – oh shit, sorry,” Rey stuttered. She’d walked into the bathroom right as Ben was removing his shirt. She held out the towel in front of her, looking anywhere but towards Ben, because she knew she wouldn’t be able to keep from staring. The memory of the time their bond connected them while he was shirtless made her blush. His body was just so nice.

“Thank you,” he said as he took the towel from her. “You’re cute when you blush.”

“You’re not getting off that easily, Ben Solo,” she fired at him as her cheeks grew even more red. “You still haven’t explained yourself.”

“You’re right,” he replied. Rey still wasn’t looking at him. “I could explain myself now, if you’d like me to.” His voice dripped with flirtation.

“I’m beginning to think you don’t understand how serious I am about this.” Rey’s voice was low and steady, but she was shaking with anger, and she was staring right into his soul. “I had to watch you die on Exegol, and then you go galivanting across the galaxy doing gods-know-what and I’m supposed to just sit here and act like it’s fine that you completely shut me out?” Her volume increased with every word, and soon she was shouting. “It’s not like you owe me anything, because I’m nothing to you, but come on Ben! I don’t even care about what you were doing anymore! But the fact that I tried calling out to you time after time and you didn’t so much as let me know you were alive is maddening!” 

Ben stood, speechless, with the most regretful look she’d ever seen. Good, now he finally gets it, she thought. He stammered for an apology for a second before Rey stormed out without another word.

She ran outside and headed straight for the Falcon. Her head felt like it had spun clean off her body. She’d envisioned the confrontation going much smoother, but at least everything was out in the open, even though she’d made herself seem completely unhinged. Maybe her lack of good sleep had something to do with it. Or maybe it was just because Ben drove her crazy, in the best and absolute worst ways.

Rey flopped herself into the pilot’s seat and took several deep breaths. She knew her words had stung, but she didn’t know how he would respond. Would he apologize without offering up any information on his whereabouts? Would he actually be honest with her and explain himself? Would he hold her in his arms and kiss her until she couldn’t think? She guessed – and hoped – it would be a mixture of all three.

Fifteen minutes passed with Rey losing herself in thought before she heard footsteps come up the ramp and into the cockpit. Ben sat down in the seat next to her and took a deep breath. Rey glanced over at him. His face was clean, and the only dark smudge left on his face was the bruise under his eye. His hair was wet and falling in his eyes. He turned to face Rey with eyes full of the sincerest sorrow she’d ever seen.

“Rey,” he started slowly. “Please believe me when I tell you I am deeply sorry for the last month. You have to believe me.” 

“I do believe you,” she assured him. “But it doesn’t make it okay.”

“I know it doesn’t,” he said, pushing his hair out of his face, “and I’d do anything to make it okay for you. I fucked up, and if I could change how I went about it, I would.”

“Why did you do it?” she asked pointedly. 

“Because where I was and what I was doing couldn’t warrant for any distraction,” he answered.

“Oh, so I’m a distraction to you.”

“Fuck, Rey. That’s not what I meant, and I think you know that.” He was flustered but maintaining composure, which was new for him. “You’re already on my mind every hour I’m awake, but I couldn’t have you in my mind. I wouldn’t have been able to focus.”

“Focus on what?” she questioned. When she said it, it sounded more like a demand.

“… to focus on finishing my training.” He said it with such shame, Rey thought he was going to dig a hole and crawl into it. “I never finished it as an apprentice of the Light, and I knew I had to in order to leave Kylo Ren behind. I ventured to Ahch-To, and even though the temple was burned to the ground, I knew it was calling to me, so I stayed and meditated.” He pulled his saber from his belt and handed it to Rey. It was different than the one he’d carried when they first met. “I crafted a new lightsaber and trained with it. Once I felt like I’d buried who I used to be for good, I came back.” She ignited the blade, and it glowed pale blue in front of her. She marveled at it and drew her own, handing it to Ben to examine. He ignited hers and laughed excitedly at the unfamiliar golden glow. 

Comfortable silence filled the cockpit as they admired each other’s sabers for a few minutes. Rey retracted Ben’s and handed it back to him, and Ben reciprocated.

“I’m sorry for being so…” Rey searched for the word but couldn’t find it. She didn’t find one before she continued. “I’ve been having nightmares, and they’re making me so scared and angry. I don’t know how to stop them.” She took one of Ben’s hands and held it between both of hers. “I didn’t mean to be so hostile towards you. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.”

Ben brought his other hand to Rey’s and squeezed. A smirk crept across his lips.

“You remember Snoke was my master, right?” he chuckled. “I’ve endured years of psychological abuse and have been told some pretty fucked up things. It would take a lot more than just you being angry with me to hurt me.” 

Rey smiled and nodded, focusing her attention on his hands. They were much bigger than hers; both of hers clasped together could probably fit into one of his. His skin was pale and her eyes could easily follow the blue veins clear up to his elbow. Small cuts peppered the back of his hands and knuckles, and she wanted to kiss each one to heal them. She wanted to feel his hands running through her hair, grabbing handfuls and gently tugging her brown waves, pulling her closer during a passionate kiss. She looked back up at him with every intention of crashing her lips onto his when she was reminded of her final question.

“I almost forgot – what happened to your eye?” 

Ben laughed nervously at the question and pulled his hands back.

“I don’t think I’m ready to tell you that story yet.”

Rey raised a suspicious eyebrow at him.

“Either you tell me,” she started, summoning her most threatening voice, “or I’m going to take the story straight from your mind.” 

“You think you can threaten me into telling you something I don’t actually ever plan on telling you?” He laughed at her determination.

“You know I can take whatever I want,” she replied with a malicious smile. She held her hand in front of his face and the Force came to her instantly, allowing her to glimpse into his mind. He grabbed her wrist in an attempt to stop her, but she persisted.

“Rey, I will tell you anything you want to know if you get out of my mind right now.” His voice sounded panicked, which made her want to continue her search. He was hiding something from her and her interest was piqued. 

She swam through his thoughts until she found the memory she needed and focused on it. She saw him on Tatooine, in a bar, gambling. He had just won all the credits in the middle of the table. The people and creatures and droids surrounding him howled in protest as he collected his winnings and tossed them into a worn-out backpack. He made a quick exit, but was stopped outside by a group of thugs made up of several different species, none of them human. They questioned him, asking how he was able to win so easily. He said it was beginners luck. The leader, a large creature with horns hanging down past its face, accused Ben of cheating and punched him without warning. He stumbled back and drew his saber. The thugs gasped and shouted in astonishment and quickly ran from him. Once they were gone, Ben ran the other way towards the Falcon and took off. Rey lowered her hand and came back to reality. Ben’s eyes were still wide and full of anxiety.

“You were worried I was going to find out you went gambling?” she asked him in disbelief. “Why would something like that bother me?” 

Ben collapsed back into his seat and let out a sigh of relief.

“Oh, thank the gods that’s all you saw,” he breathed. “You had a look on your face that said you were about to search every inch of my mind.”

“I’ll save that for another time,” she teased.


	5. Chapter 5

Ben and Rey parted ways, him staying in the Falcon and her heading back to her quarters, even though she would have loved to be invited to sleep next to him. When she returned to her room, she splashed some water on her face and removed her tunic to change her bandages. The bacta seemed to be working quickly. She left the bandages off so her injuries could breathe and heal properly and threw on a sleeveless tunic and leggings, eager to climb into bed after a long day. She worried momentarily about the risk of more nightmares, but hoped she’d sleep soundly now that Ben was back. It didn’t take her long before exhaustion overtook her mind.

_She was on a planet she didn’t recognize, surrounded by people everywhere she looked. Ben stood next to her, holding her hand as they walked through the crowd. She smiled up at him and he returned the expression momentarily before a look of panic washed over his face. Rey followed his gaze and saw him staring at a man dressed in grey uniforms with the First Order insignia on his hat. The man sprinted towards them and they tried to flee, but couldn’t escape through the crowd. Blaster shots pierced Rey’s ears. She saw Ben fall on the ground, clutching his stomach. She went to reach for her saber, but nothing was there. The man approached them still, firing a shot with each step. Ben begged for mercy and Rey tried to intervene, but she was powerless. The man turned to face Rey and looked her dead in the eyes. “There’s nothing you can do to stop fate,” he said before firing the final blast that killed Ben._

Rey gasped herself awake, choking on the cold air. Tears flowed from her eyes and she did nothing to stop them. She replayed the nightmare in her head and tried to make sense of it, but couldn’t. Every other nightmare she’d had up until this point was a twisted memory of things she knew, but this one was different. How could she dream of somewhere she’d never been to? She tried to rationalize it as a fluke, telling herself she dreamt of a foreign place because her friends talked about exploring the galaxy earlier that day, but she didn’t even believe herself. She threw herself out of bed and ran to the Falcon, not even bothering to put on her boots.

She was halfway up the ramp when she saw Ben rushing down to meet her, his face full of concern. His expression deepened when he saw the tears on Rey’s cheeks.

“I sensed you had another nightmare and was coming to check on you,” he told her, pulling her into a hug, being careful not to touch her injured arm. “It’s okay, sweetheart. It was just a bad dream.” He gently rubbed her back as she sobbed into his chest. He led her into the Falcon and sat them down on his bed, holding her close. After a few minutes, she was able to speak.

“This wasn’t like the others,” she sniffed, her voice wavering. “This one was strange. I’d never seen this place before, but there were so many people, and then I saw a general from the First Order in the crowd, and he killed you. I tried to stop him but my saber was gone, and he told me I couldn’t change fate.” She choked back another sob before continuing. “I know the nightmares I had when you were gone were because I was worried about you, but now you’re back and I don’t understand why this is still happening.” She broke down again and buried her face in Ben’s chest. 

“The Dark side knows you’re scared and it’s playing up those fears, Rey,” Ben explained to her. “I used to have endless nightmares of losing you.” Had it been any other moment, she would have melted at the thought of him dreaming of her, but she was still too distraught.

“Do you think it could’ve been a vision of things to come?” she asked with a shaking voice. “I know Jedi have had visions of the future come to them in dreams.”

Ben pushed Rey out from his chest and tilted her head up so she could look him in the eyes.

“If you think I would sit there and be killed by someone who used to take orders from me, then I don’t think you know me very well.” He offered a playful half-smile and it lifted her spirits some. Rey sat in silence except for the occasional sniffle before calming herself enough to speak again.

“I can’t stay here anymore,” she said. The statement took Ben by surprise. “Every night I have nightmares no matter what I do. I have to get out of here or I’m going to go crazy.” Ben went to argue, but could tell Rey was determined, so he nodded in acceptance.

“We can leave when the sun rises tomorrow,” he told her. “Pack whatever you want to bring and we’ll leave as soon as you say goodbye to your friends. I’ll refuel and run diagnostics checks before you wake up so we don’t have to wait around for you to change your mind and decide to stay.” Rey laughed sarcastically.

“There’s no going back on my decision now,” she said, her voice dripping with sadness. “I know this is what’s best for me, and it has to be done.” 

A yawn escaped from Rey despite her best efforts to stifle it. Ben got up from the bed and returned shortly with a blanket and pillow. He tossed them onto the ground beside the bed she sat on and started spreading them out.

“What’re you doing?” she asked him, trying to figure it out before he answered her.

“You’re going to sleep in my bunk,” he explained as he stretched out on the floor on top of the makeshift bed, “and I’m going to sleep here, right next to you, so you hopefully don’t have anymore nightmares.”

“Ben, you don’t have to sleep on the floor on my account,” she protested, but he waved his hand dismissively at her.

“Too late. My mind’s made up and you can’t change it. Not even with a Jedi mind trick.” He made himself comfortable – well, as comfortable as he could – on the floor, fluffed his pillow underneath his head, and closed his eyes.

“Goodnight, Rey,” he said to her. 

“Goodnight, Ben,” she sighed. She was fast asleep in seconds. 

Rey woke up groggy and confused. Light beamed into the Falcon and she heard Ben shuffling around somewhere in the ship. She rubbed the sleepiness from her eyes and sat up; her body begged to stay in bed, but she knew she needed to get up. She’d almost forgotten that she slept here last night, which added to her initial confusion. As if on cue, Ben came into view with a smiling face and mug full of caf.

“I didn’t know how you liked it, so I just did my best at guessing,” he told her as he extended the mug towards her. She took it and drank quickly, almost burning her tongue. 

“It’s better than I could’ve done making it, that’s for sure,” she said in a raspy voice coated with exhaustion. She sat the mug on the ground and moved to the edge of the bunk, her lets dangling over the side, and stretched. A yawn that sounded like it came from the depths of her soul exited her mouth and she heard Ben laugh.

“What’s so funny?” she asked him defensively.

“Nothing,” he said. “You’re adorable when you’ve just woken up.” 

She grinned and reached down to pick up her mug, letting her hair fall in her face to hide her blushing cheeks. 

“I’m going to go pack my things,” Rey said as she rose from the bed. “I’ll be back in a bit, and then we can leave.” She brushed past him and a spark shot through her body.

The landing pad was warm from sunlight on her bare feet. She hoped wherever they ended up was as pleasant as this place. She passed Finn, who was fueling up his own ship, and waved to him. He waved back. She sensed he knew their inevitable goodbye was coming and he wanted to prolong it as much as possible. She passed Poe when she got into the base and he groaned as if to say “good morning, but I’m too hungover to speak.” She offered him a “good morning” in return and continued onto her room. 

When she arrived, she realized this would be the last time she’d see her room like this. It was almost bittersweet, but definitely more sweet than bitter. Rey began haphazardly tossing whatever clothing she owned, which wasn’t much, into a backpack. She slipped on her boots and took one last look at the bed she’d spent so many nights crying in and turned away from it, ready to forget every sleepless night and awful dream she suffered through in that bed.

“Hey, where are you going?” Rose asked her. Rey had almost bumped into her while leaving her room. She took a deep breath before explaining herself.

“I can’t stay here anymore, Rose,” she told her friend. “I just need a change of scenery for a bit, that’s all.” Rose’s expression was downcast, but she nodded in understanding before embracing Rey.

“Thank you for being such a great friend and a strong fighter,” said Rose, a tear beginning to run down her cheek. “This isn’t goodbye; it’s just so long for now.” 

Rey nodded in agreement and they parted ways. She managed to catch Poe, who she’d never seen look worse, and say her goodbye to him.

“If he does anything to that ship –” he threatened jokingly, pointing a finger at Rey. She laughed and hugged him, wishing him well on his journey to Tatooine.

Finn was still refueling his ship when Rey returned. He caught a glimpse of her in the corner of his eye but didn’t look up. He knew why she was there.

“I know, I know,” he said to her, focusing on his ship. “We all knew this day would come, but it doesn’t make it any easier.”

“I know it doesn’t,” she responded, “but I have to make changes and stop letting fear keep me here. I can’t do what I did on Jakku.”

Finn nodded and his shoulders fell slightly. He pulled Rey in for a drawn-out hug, and she obliged. When she pulled away, she could tell Finn was holding back tears.

“May the Force be with you, Rey,” he said, choking on the words.

“And may the Force be with you too, Finn,” she replied, offering a sympathetic smile. “I’ll always be on the other end of a transmission when you need me.” She turned and headed to the Falcon, her heart full of sadness and anticipation.

When she boarded, she threw her backpack off her shoulder and onto the floor before heading to the cockpit. Ben was flipping switches and pushing buttons and pulling levers, some of which Rey didn’t even know the purpose of. He noticed her presence and she felt a warm emotion enter into his mind through their bond, but he didn’t look at her; he was doing his best to keep focused on making sure everything was up and running.

“She just needs to warm up a bit longer and we’ll be good to go,” he explained. “She was not happy about being run solely on the backup generator.”

“I think our first stop needs to be anywhere that will sell us a new generator,” she suggested. “We won’t be getting far with just the backup, especially if you’re the pilot.”

“Excuse me?” he asked indignantly, a sarcastic tone hanging onto his words. “I know this ship like the back of my hand. I’ve been flying it since I learned how to walk. The whole generator mess was a fluke anyways.”

“As long as you don’t plan on running away from thugs you hustled in a gambling run, I think we’ll be okay with one generator until we can find another main one,” she said, teasing him. He rolled his eyes and shook his head at her before coming back to their plan.

“I think our best bet is either to go to Coruscant and find a part from a dealer there, or go straight to where the ship came from – Corellia – and see if we can find one for cheaper than what we’d pay on Coruscant.” Ben paused and thought for a few seconds before continuing. “Coruscant will probably be the better bet of the two, especially since Corellia has old ties to the Empire.” He shuddered at the thought. “The last thing I want to do is come face-to-face with any Empire or First Order sympathizers.” 

“At least you were mostly known by your mask,” offered Rey, trying to stay positive. He chuckled at the observation and nodded in agreement.

“To Coruscant, it is then.” He fired up the engine and they were off.


	6. Chapter 6

Rey slept most of their journey. She didn’t dream much, which was refreshing, and when she did dream, it was either of her and Ben’s kiss or of Ben shirtless, which was even more refreshing. In her half-lucid state, she began to wonder if they could really become something, or if fate would keep pushing them together then pulling them apart. She liked the idea of being in a relationship. She’d never had anything close to one at any point in her life until now, and the thought was exciting and terrifying all at once. She laughed at herself; the last Jedi, afraid of dating someone. It sounded so silly to her.

“We’ll be landing in about fifteen minutes,” Ben called from the cockpit. “Come up here. I think you’ll want to see this.” 

Rey pushed herself out of bed and followed Ben’s voice. The sight of skyscrapers covered in twinkling lights in front of her was overwhelming. She’d never seen anything like this before. Luxurious hotels, neon signs, questionable-looking bars, and exquisite clothing shops made up the beautiful city, while speeders of every shape and size cruised through the sky. Her jaw dropped.

“This is…” she started, but didn’t know how to finish. “Is this real?”

“It’s very real,” he assured her while he focused on navigating between buildings. “We’ll be staying at the Coruscant Hotel for however long we’re here. Back at the height of the Jedi Knights, parents of Padawans would stay here if they needed to meet with the council about their child.”

“Did the Jedi used to train here?” she asked, her eyes wide with amazement.

“They did, but it’s been quite a while since anything of that sort happened here,” he answered. “The Jedi Temple was overtaken during the rise of Palpatine and during the execution of Order 66.” 

The mention of her old family name made her wince uncomfortably. 

“Sorry,” Ben muttered when he realized his slip-up. After a moment of silence, he spoke up.

“Since you aren’t associating yourself with your family name, what are you calling yourself? ‘Rey from Jakku’ doesn’t have the best ring to it,” he teased. 

“I’ve decided to go with Rey Skywalker,” she said triumphantly. He laughed in spite of himself.

“Skywalker? Really?” he asked. 

“Uh, yes,” Rey answered, a little taken aback by his response. “Is there a problem with that?”

“No, not really,” he said. She could tell he was going to pick a fight, but decided to back down instead. “It just implies we’re related now, is all.”

“Well, we’re not,” she replied. How could I not have thought about that before? she asked herself. She wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed and sleep off the embarrassment. 

Ben landed the Falcon with ease on top of their hotel. A handful of other crafts were parked on the landing pad, all of them much more elegant than theirs with gleaming exteriors and agile bodies.

“How did you find this hotel?” she called back to him as she ran down the ramp, eager to examine the beautiful ships.

“We used to stay here when we came to Coruscant,” he called back from the Falcon as he gathered their bags. “Mom would have to do diplomatic stuff every once in a while here, so we’d always try to make a trip out of it if we could.”

“Wait, how much did this cost?” Rey demanded, instantly feeling like a burden. “I want to pay for my share of the stay.” She only had a handful of credits, so she hoped it would be enough.

“No, I’m not letting you do that,” he said firmly. He’d caught up with her and they stood admiring a Nubian ship. “I’m the reason we had to come here and get another generator. It’s the least I could do.”

Rey narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think this was an elaborate excuse to spend time with me.”

“Well,” he said indignantly, and then paused for a moment. “Good thing you don’t know any better.” Before she could react, he gestured for her to follow, and they took the lift to their floor.

“We’re on floor 20, which in my opinion, is the best,” he explained. Rey was mesmerized by the view of the city as they descended from the rooftop landing pad to the hotel itself. The lift was glass, so she was able to marvel at the city. “Any other floor either doesn’t have a good view of the sunset, or the sun is blinding in the morning at an ungodly hour.” He removed a key card from his pocket and handed it to her.

“You’ll be in 203, and I’ll be in 204.” Rey was slightly disappointed, but snapped herself out of it. It’s not like they were anything significant enough to warrant staying in the same room. It’s not like they were anything at all. “Our rooms are joined by the refresher, so if you have another nightmare, I’m just a few feet away.”

The lift stopped at their floor and they stepped out into the hallway. The floors were made of a beautiful marble with flecks of silver peppered on each tile. The lanterns illuminating the hallway appeared to be floating, and a tiny flame flickered behind the glass of each one. The corridor felt like it should be cold, but it wasn’t; it was surprisingly inviting. There were only four rooms in the hallway, and Rey’s was straight in front of the lift, with Ben’s immediately to the right of hers. She unlocked the door with her key card and stepped into the most beautiful room she’d ever seen. Everything – carpet, bedspread, chairs, pillows – was black, and silver accents were placed in the room precisely. The bed was absolutely huge; it could easily fit six people comfortably. There were ten pillows on top of the bed, all varying in size. The window overlooked the city, and the sun was just starting to set, casting beautiful shades of pink and orange and red across the clouded sky. On the other side of the window was a balcony. Rey slid the glass aside and stepped out onto it, and Ben followed. Gods, it was breathtaking. 

“Are you being serious right now?” she asked in astonishment. “Like, is this really where we’re staying?” 

“Yes,” he laughed. “It’ll only be for a few days though, so take it in while you can.” He left her on the balcony to admire the view while he went to his room to drop off their bags. Rey studied the city intensely, as if she would blink and it would disappear. The sound of the glass door sliding brought her back to reality. Ben stepped out onto the balcony from his room, and Rey’s face lit up when she realized they shared the same balcony.

“We should pick up a generator now and get it out of the way,” Ben told her. “I know a place my dad used to get parts from all the time, and I looked it up and it’s still opened after all these years.” Rey nodded and followed him back to his room. “It’s in the lower parts of the city, which is where the low-lifes like to congregate, so just follow me and you’ll be safe.”

She scoffed at him. “It’s like you forget I’m from Jakku, which is inhabited solely by low-lifes. I appreciate the concern, but I’ll be fine.”

“For once,” he sighed, “can you let me protect you without reminding me of how you can take care of yourself?” He sounded irritated, which made Rey giggle to herself. How funny, she thought. He really wants to protect me. What a gentleman.

“Sorry,” she said, holding her hands up as if she were surrendering. “You’re in charge, Supreme Leader.”

His eyes shot to her and he shook his head, rubbing his temples. “I swear, Rey Skywalker, you’re going to be the death of me all over again.”


	7. Chapter 7

Ben was right: the lower level of the city teemed with seedy creatures and shady people.  Even though they both hid beneath their cloaks, Rey still felt on-edge . The crowd of people resembled the one in her most recent nightmare , and she  scanned the faces around her constantly.  The Force helped to heighten her senses and keep her focus on any potential threats . She wasn’t too focused to appreciate the irony of the situation: Ben  said he was protecting her, and here she was protecting him.

He cut down a dark alley and Rey followed him, glancing over her shoulder every few feet to make sure they weren’t being followed. He stopped in front of a metal door with no knob or handle and forcefully knocked three times. A deep voice bellowed “what do you want?” in Huttese from the other side of the door.

“I need  parts for my ship,” answered Ben. He fumbled with his response; it sounded like he hadn’t spoken  Huttese in  at least ten years. 

After a momentary silence, the door creaked open and the pair were invited inside. The shop was dimly lit and cramped ; every surface had some sort of part on it , even the floor. There was hardly a path for either of them to walk .

“So what ship is it?” the creature asked. He  was old and wrinkled  and smelled horrendous. Rey didn’t want to offend the merchant, so she held her breath and fought every instinct that told her to scrunch her nose.

“Corellian YT-1300f,” he said. “I need a generator for it.” The creature laughed. Its laughter was coarse and gravelly and made Rey’s insides turn.

“That’s a rare ship, you know,”  the merchant mused, scratching his  head. “A generator for that  will cost you  15,000 credits.”

Rey scoffed at the price tag , but Ben shushed her.  “That’s a steep price, but we don’t have a choice.  We’ll take it.” He extended his gloved hand to the  merchant and  they shook on it. Ben pulled out  a  holopad and  transferred the credits to the merchant ’s computer without protest .

“Where’s an  offworlder get that many Imperial credits?” asked the merchant suspiciously. Rey’s eyes widened, but Ben kept his cool.

“Gambling with First Order generals,” he said calmly . The creature laughed again , causing Rey to shudder. 

“We’ll transport the generator to your ship after sundown,”  the merchant explained. “It’s not a common ship, so we’ll be able to find it. Installation is your job .” Ben nodded  and they  left the shop .

“Fifteen thousand credits? He ripped you off, big time,” Rey fumed as they made their way back to  a more desirable part of the city.

“It’s not like we had much of a choice,” he told her. “Plus, his parts are always top-notch and mint-condition. This generator will last another sixty years, maybe more.”

“You’re right, but if I’d been doing the talking, we would’ve left with a generator for half that cost .”

“Is that so?” he asked, an air of sarcasm in his words.

“ Well, maybe not  _ half _ the cost, but definitely not fifteen thousand .”

“Knowing you, you would’ve pissed him off and he would have raised the price or refused to sell to us ,” Ben laughed. 

“Hey!” she exclaimed, offended by his statement, even though she knew he was right.  Her stomach  growled and she realized she hadn’t eaten today.

“We can get dinner while we wait for the generator to be delivered ,”  he offered,  reading her thoughts. 

“Good. I’m starving. Where can we go that we won’t be severely underdressed?” she questioned. Although Coruscant teemed with lifeforms from every system imaginable, she couldn’t help but feel like she stuck out like a sore thumb.

“There’s a few bars and clubs around that are fairly casual, I think,”  he said, shrugging his shoulders. “ I’m sure if we  walk around enough, we can find one to your liking.”

The pair made their way back up from the city’s underbelly and searched for somewhere to eat. Rey was easily distracted and kept stopping at each storefront to peer in the window and marvel at whatever was being sold – clothing, furniture, pottery, weapons. She wondered if Ben was annoyed with her stopping so often, but a quick glimpse into his thoughts told her he was enjoying himself, so she continued to appreciate every shop they passed, almost forgetting her hunger entirely. After walking for a bit, Ben gestured for her to follow him into a bar. 

“I think this place  is just what we’re looking for,” he observed.  The bar was completely empty except for a serving droid and a handful of tables . Rey nodded in agreement and  headed to a small booth in the back of the bar , Ben following her closely. They both took a seat at the table , which ended up being a giant  holopad with a menu on it.

“Whoa!” Rey ex claimed. “So you can just press  whatever you want to order and  that’s it?”

“ Exactly,” said Ben , skimming over the menu. He quickly decided on what to order and  tapped the screen a few times to make his selections , but Rey was too overwhelmed by all the choices to choose in a timely manner.  She remembered  how many credits she had with her and decided to choose the cheapest thing on the menu, which was  a basket of chips and an assortment of dips .

“ Once we get the generator delivered, we can store it for the night and start working on repairs in the morning,” Ben  explained.  “After that, we can  enjoy the rest of the day and get some rest before we depart the next morning to … well, wherever we’re going next.”

“Where should we go next?” she asked excitedly before coming to a realization that made her stomach fill with butterflies. “Wait – we?” It seemed like a stupid question whenever she finished asking it. Of course, he meant _we_. He couldn’t just leave her on this unfamiliar planet with a handful of credits to her name. It was the implication of the _we_ that made her heart skip a beat.

“I mean – I just figured, you know…” He stumbled over his words. She’d never seen him this flustered before. His cheeks were growing redder by the second as he tried to find the right thing to say. “Since we’re already here, and we aren’t trying to kill each other anymore… I don’t know, I –”

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way,” she said with a flirtatious smile, cutting him off.  He breathed a sigh of relief and ran his fingers through his hair . She’d always wanted to touch his hair , to run her fingers through it  and twirl his black curls around her fingers . It looked so soft.

Her attention turned to the door of the bar as a group of creatures walked in. They looked dangerous and violent, with scars peppering their faces and exposed skin, and weapons half-concealed beneath their dirtied clothes. She instantly sensed danger and soon realized why: those creatures were the ones Ben had dealt with on Tatooine. She clearly remembered each and every one of them. She turned her focus to Ben and stared at him intently, staying silent while she tried to get his attention over their bond.

_ Ben _ _? _ He was  focused on their food , which had just been delivered by  the droid .

_ Ben _ . His focus shifted to the bottle of wine he’d ordered . He opened it and poured a fair amount into his glass, then  poured some in Rey’s glass.  He turned to smile at her , picked up on her unease, and looked at her quizzically. She tapped  her temple and he understood .

_ What’s wrong? _ His  question seemed concerned.

_ The thugs you gambled with just walked into  _ _ the bar. They’re sitting by  _ _ the door _ .

He turned to look for himself, but Rey caught his  head from turning and  held it steady by  keeping her hand on his cheek.

_ You can’t look, _ she told him.  _ They’re glancing over here already. I think they know you’re here _ .

_ Don’t worry sweetheart _ _ , _ he said as he turned his head to kiss the palm that had been  against his cheek moments before.  _ I _ _ can handle this. _

_I think you mean_ _“we,”_ she said assertively. He nodded and they both stood, leaving their food untouched on the table.

As they approached,  the group of thugs rose and drew their guns as if it were second-nature to them .  Rey heard Ben curse over the bond before he began to speak.

“Listen,” he said,  extending his hands in front of him and gesturing for everyone to lower their weapons , with no response from the group . “I know  our last meeting  wasn’t great, but we can discuss this like adults .” Rey’s hand was on her saber beneath her cloak.  Adrenaline and the Force were flooding her senses.

“There’s nothing to discuss,” hissed one of the creatures . His tongue flicked out between his scaly  lips. “We’re not here for the money. We’re here on a job , and we’ve come for you.” 

“Do you really think it’s going to be that easy?” Ben laughed at them, but Rey could sense his panic. She could feel panic beginning to rise from the pit of her stomach into her sternum, gripping her insides and hindering her breathing.

“Not at all,”  the horned creature – the leader , Rey assumed – answered.  “That’s why we all came for you . ” 

Something overtook Rey, and she wasn’t sure if it was the adrenaline or the panic or the Force. Ben sensed it too and, with a flick of his fingers, shut the door to the bar. She drew her saber and sliced off the lizard-like creature’s hand, causing him to screech in agony. Ben wasted no time drawing his saber and deflecting blaster shots that were being fired at him from several directions. She picked up the dropped blaster and fired at one of Ben’s attackers, knocking the thug to the floor with a thud. She sensed another shot being fired at her and turned to deflect it back at the shooter. The blast hit him in the shoulder, and while he was distracted, Rey jabbed her saber through his midsection. She saw the life drain from his eyes and didn’t keep watching to see him fall to the floor. Rey spun around to see Ben turn a blast from one attacker to the other, the victim slumping down against an empty booth. Only two left. She fired at the leader, but the creature was able to duck and avoid it, all while firing several more shots at Ben. Rey shot at the other thug, using the Force to push him over when the blast caused him to stumble away from Ben. The leader landed a shot on Ben’s shoulder and he cried out in pain. The sound made Rey’s blood boil and she rushed at the leader, shooting until she was close enough to swing her lightsaber at him. She left a gash across its chest and its lifeless body crashed against the tile floor.

“How did you do that so fast?” Ben asked , stunned . Rey didn’t answer ; she’d gone bac k to the lizard creature and  grabbed  the collar of its shirt, pulling it up to eye level with her.

“Who are you working for?” Her voice was low and  steady , but her mind was a mess .  “Tell us, and we won’t kill you.” 

“I’d rather you kill me anyways ,” it spat at her. “ Going back with nothing marks me as a dead man .”

“Then if you’ll be dying either way, what’s the point in holding out on us?”

The creature considered her offer before continuing. “We met this guy on Tatooine who said he’d seen what went down outside the bar. Said he knew the guy who hustled our friends, and could make us rich if we hunted him down and killed him. Not hard to do with a ship like yours. Got word you bought a generator from Olba, and we were in the area, so thought it would be an easy job.” His breathing was growing jagged and irregular, but Rey pressed for more answers.

“ Who hired you?”  she demanded, a sense of urgency  entering her voice.

“ Think his name was  Kaplan.  Don’t remember. I’m not the one who asks the questions ,” the creature gasped. Rey  turned to Ben, who was kneeling on the ground  behind her, and  she  watched his head fall. She felt  disappointment and fear  rush into his mind. Rey released the creature’s collar and he fell back against the floor. She stood and Ben followed her movements .  The creature pulled at the hem of her cloak.

“Please. Kill me before  he does,” he begged.  “I don’t have the  strength to do it myself.”

Rey took pity on him and pointed the blaster towards his heart. In the heat of battle, she had no issue killing, but she had to turn away to take its life with the pull of the trigger. She dropped the gun and stepped over the bodies in order to return to their table. She summoned two take-out boxes from a shelf in the kitchen and began packing up their food quickly. An annoyed laugh echoed through the empty bar.

“You’re seriously packing up our food when we just killed six people?” Ben asked her .

“You killed one. I killed the rest,” she reminded him as  she  handed him the  boxes before resealing the wine and  stashing it in  her cloak. “We can talk more about this at the hotel, where no one  can hear us.”


	8. Chapter 8

The walk back to the hotel was silent. Rey tried glimpsing into Ben’s mind every few minutes, but he was intently focused on something, so she was unable to read his thoughts. Her panic had subsided, but adrenaline was still pumping through her veins and she jerked her head towards every loud noise that rang out around her. _Better to be paranoid than to be taken by surprise,_ she told herself. She replayed the events in her mind and began forming her line of questions: how did they find us? Who was Kaplan? Why did he want Ben dead? Where was this Kaplan guy now? She was so lost in thought, she didn’t even get the chance to marvel at the city while they took the lift to their floor.

She fumbled with the key card  as she unlocked the door. Her hands were trembling so much, she thought they’d shake right off her body .  She sat the bottle of wine on  the bedside table and took the boxes of food from Ben . He winced at the movement of his arm . She’d almost forgotten he was injured.

“Here, let me see,” she urged. He struggled to remove his cloak, but with Rey’s help he was able to shake it from the injured shoulder and let it fall to the ground. She tossed her cloak onto her bed and examined the charred skin around the blaster wound. Summoning the Force, she placed her shaking hand over the wound and healed it, almost effortlessly. Ben glanced down at her injured arm and gingerly laid his hand on her shoulder. He took a deep breath in and closed his eyes before transferring some of his life force to her. The scabbed-over scrapes melted away quickly, as if they’d never been there in the first place. After the events of the evening, she’d forgotten about her arm completely. 

Ben t ook a seat on the bed and laid back ,  massaging his head .

“You  okay?” Rey asked, studying his movements.

“I’m okay, just a little light-headed,” he breathed . “Healing you makes me dizzy .”

She chuckled , even though she was certain he wasn’t trying to make a joke out of it. She sat on the bed beside him and crossed her legs before  digging into her chips and dip , relieved she was finally able to eat.  He sat up and  took his food  from the box and began eating slowly , awaiting the inevitable questions.

“ Was Kaplan a  general in the First Order?” she asked with a mouth full of chips .

“ Not a general, but a colonel,” he explained between bites.  “ Last I heard, he’d crashed on  Jakku . I thought he was dead, but I guess he survived . He  probably saw me on  Tatooine after that confrontation outside the bar.”

“Someone with a  lightsaber is a little difficult to miss , especially on  Tatooine ,” she  jeered .

“Yeah, I know,” he shot back. “That’s what I get for drawing my  lightsaber . I won’t do it again, Master.” His words were said with intent to sting , but Rey ignored them.

“Do you think he’s still on  Tatooine ?” 

“Probably, especially if he doesn’t know the hunters he hired are dead ,” he speculated as he summoned the wine and  took a swig straight from the bottle.

“Then we need to find him and kill him.”

B en nearly  choked on his wine at her comment .

“ We can’t just waltz right up to that bar and start killing  whoever we want, Rey,” he rationalized . “We’d be dead in seconds.  If he’s been on  Tatooine long enough to hire a group of bounty hunters, he’s been there long enough to have made friends with  the right people. And by right people, I mean the wrong people. ” 

“ Well then what do you suggest we do , Ben?” she asked, raising her voice. “We can’t just keep running from planet to planet to escape whoever’s trying to kill you that day!  The only way  to live a normal life is to find Kaplan and kill him , and if you won’t, then I’ll do it by myself. ”

“No, you absolutely will not!”  He jumped up from the bed and pointed a finger  in her face.

“ I will if you won’t help me! ” she yelled ,  pushing herself off the bed and slapping his hand away from her. “I’m not just going to sit here and let you be hunted  like some animal!” 

“I’m not saying we won’t do  any thing ! I’m just saying we need a better plan than  going into a dangerous place, blasters blazing, and expecting things to go our way!”

“I’d rather risk it going badly than just sit here waiting around for someone to show up and kill you!” Her voice broke . She felt her eyes brimming with tears , but blinked hard to  keep them at bay . “I’ve watched you die a thousand times in my nightmares . I’m not about to do it again in real-life.” 

Ben noticed her change in tone and  pulled her close , wrapping his arms around her.  She closed her eyes and  laid her head against his chest .  He pressed his lips against the top of her head and whispered into her hair : “You won’t lose me again. I  won’t let that happen.”

His words felt like a warm blanket being draped over her shivering body. She wrapped her arms around his waist and they stood in her room just holding each other in silence. Her mind crafted different scenarios where they’d never been on different sides of the same war. Perhaps in another timeline, they could have a normal life. She cursed the gods in charge of their fate; whenever she felt like things were going well, they’d be knocked back to square one. Rey wanted nothing more than to be with him without the constant need to look over her shoulder. 

Ben  drew back and looked down at her with  sadness in his eyes . Tears had  run down Rey’s chee ks and absorbed into his shirt, leaving  little droplet markings on  the grey fabric .  He wiped  the tears from her  face with his thumbs and cradled her face in his hands . Her mind was flooded with so many emotions that all  told her to do one thing:  _ kiss him, you idiot _ . 

She stood on her tiptoes and pulled his head down to her level and did what she’d been wanting to do every day since the end of the war. His lips tasted like the wine he’d been drinking, and she wanted nothing more than to be drunk off the taste of wine and his kisses and _him_. 

She snaked her arms up his chest and around his neck to pull him closer, grabbing fistfuls of his black curls and gently tugging on them. His hair was just as soft, if not softer, than she’d imagined it to be. He kissed her back, gently at first, but the intensity rose quickly once she began to pull his hair. He dug his fingers into her hips and squeezed hard enough to leave bruises. Gods, they’d both wanted this for so long. 

Ben lifted her off the ground and she wrapped her legs around his waist before he fell back onto the bed, taking Rey with him. Her teeth knocked into his on impact and she pulled back, unable to stifle her laughter. 

“Sorry,” he chuckled . He pressed his forehead against hers . “You make me clumsy .” 

She smiled before kissing him again. Her fingers trailed down from his jawline his chest and back up, causing him to shudder against her lips. His hands wandered under the hem of her tunic and to her lower back. Chills overtook her entire body at the feeling of his skin finally on hers, and a whimper managed to escape from her between kisses. Ben gently guided their movements to change their position, where she was lying on the bed, and he was the one in control. He licked her bottom lip before trailing painfully soft kisses from her chin to her jaw to her neck to her collarbone. Her mind swam with curses and sinful thoughts she’d always stopped herself from thinking before, but now she couldn’t help but wonder how good his lips would feel on the rest of her body.

Her train of thought came to a grinding halt when she realized the implications of these kisses and where this would inevitably lead. The butterflies in her stomach turned to rocks, and her excitement turned to anxiety. She’d never kissed anyone before Ben, and she sure as hell hadn’t come close to doing anything else. _What if_ _he thinks I’m awful at this whole thing?_ she wondered to herself, any ounce of confidence she’d had before making a quick exit. It’s not like they could avoid each other if she messed something up, and she didn’t want to feel like this was something she had to do, but she wanted to do this, but she was _scared_. During her wave of self-doubt, she’d forgotten to close their Force bond, and she only remembered after her minor freak-out was finished.

“Rey,” he said breathlessly as he sat them both up on the bed. “I’m not expecting anything from you. I don’t ever want to make you feel like you have to do something you’re not completely comfortable with, and I mean that.”

“I  know you do,” she sighed . “ It’s not that I don’t want this, because gods I do, I just …” Her voice trailed off as she stumbled over her  words. “ I’ve never done… anything , and  I don’t want  my inexperience to  mess this up .” It sounded so silly when she said it out loud that she wished she’d just kept quiet.

He  cracked a half-smile and kissed the tip of her nose. “You think I’m any more experienced than you are?” he asked , tucking her hair behind her ear. In all honesty, she assumed he had loads of experience. “We can awkwardly fumble through this  thing  together and then laugh about it afterwards . ” 

“ You know what I think we should do right now?” Rey asked seductively , suddenly getting an idea . She  watched Ben’s pupils dilate. “We should go install the new generator on the Falcon and get it out of the way . There’s no sense in waiting until tomorrow. You can meet me up there  once you’ ve collected yourself .” She stood and headed towards the door,  smirking at herself. She wasn’t looking, but she could feel his eyes roll as  he groaned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm such an asshole, finally giving you guys what you want but SURPRISE it's a mere crumb. but next chapter will be even better :D


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy valentine's day. you can have this chapter, as a treat.

Installing the generator was easy. Rey did everything, and Ben handed her tools when she needed them. He insisted on helping, but Rey insisted harder that she could handle it, so he relented. By the time she was finished, she was covered in soot from the burnt-up generator and grease from the new generator, but she’d been successful, and she took pride in it. 

“Hold still!” he insisted while Rey was trying to pull away from him. He was attempting to rub the smudges from her face, but was failing miserably “You’re making it so much worse by trying to get away.”

“I told you, I’m taking a shower anyways, so there’s no need for this!” She continued her half-hearted attempts to dodge him. They were in the lift heading back to their rooms, so there wasn’t much room to get away, even if she truly wanted to. She was enjoying this, but wasn’t going to let Ben know.

“Why are you so insistent on doing everything yourself?” he asked. She heard his joking tone, but could sense his seriousness in the question.

“Because I _can_ do everything myself,” she told him. “I’ve been doing everything myself my whole life. I don’t need help with anything.”

“I know you don’t _need_ help. I _want_ to help you because it makes me happy to do something for you. It’s the least I could do after you saved my life.” He caught one of her arms by the wrist as she was trying to push his hand away. She wanted to keep fighting him at every turn, but he was being so sweet to her that she couldn’t justify it, so she let him try to remove the smudges from her skin. She stood in silence and focused on his face. He was concentrating so hard on each stain on her skin, furrowing his brow and staring intently at each one until he’d rubbed at least part of it from her face. She laughed in spite of herself because _gods_ he was just so adorable.

“What’re you laughing about?” he asked, slightly offended. The door to the lift opened and they stepped out.

“You’re just really cute when you focus, that’s all,” she answered as she unlocked her room. She felt how flustered he’d gotten over her flirtatious comment even though she wasn’t looking at him.

Rey kicked off her boots and headed to pick up the bottle of wine. She sat on the corner of the bed and drank, shuddering at the taste. It was horrible, but she took a handful of sips in quick succession to speed up the process. The day had been long and she wanted to unwind, and what better way to do so than getting drunk in a nice hotel? 

Ben sat next to her and stuck his hand out. She passed the wine to him and he took three giant gulps before passing it back to Rey. She stared at him questioningly as she choked down another mouthful of the drink.

“How can you drink this stuff so easily?” she asked in disgust. “This is the worst drink I’ve ever tasted in my life, and I’ve drank some pretty awful stuff.” 

“It’s delicious,” he answered indignantly, his expression full of offense. 

“No, it’s disgusting. It’s not sweet at all and it tastes sour.” She wrinkled her nose disapprovingly as she grabbed the bottle back from him and drank some more.

“Are you only drinking it to get drunk?” Ben asked, narrowing his eyes at her.

“Maybe I am,” she said before finishing off the bottle while staring him in the eyes. The bottle had been almost full when they started, and now most of it had been consumed by Rey. “And now, I’m going to go take a shower, because I’ve been told by Poe that drunk showers are some of the best experiences ever.” The alcohol hit her all at once, right in the middle of her sentence, and the second half of her statement was accompanied by a minor slur as the words dragged out over her tongue. Ben could tell. His face was overtaken by a bewildered smirk.

“I’ll be in my room if you need me,” he told her as he stood. He extended a hand to help her up from the bed and she took it, wobbling slightly but trying to pretend she wasn’t intoxicated. Ben laughed as he led her to the refresher that connected their rooms and headed over to his side, closing the door behind him.

Rey stared at the shower controls for much longer than she would have if she’d been sober. The knob was unlabeled and unlike any other shower she’d used before. After too much thought, she pulled the handle out from the wall and turned it all the way to the left – as hot as it could go – and waited for it to warm up. She tied her hair back and stood in front of the mirror with a wash cloth to scrub the stains from her skin. Every swipe at the smudges seemed to make them worse. She was too drunk for this.

 _Ben_ , she whined over their bond. _I need help_.

She felt him there, but his mind was occupied. Curiosity got the best of her and she closed her eyes to see what he was thinking about. Nothing could have prepared her – drunk or sober – to see what he was doing. It wasn’t a bad sight in the slightest, just not something you’d want to be taken by surprise with.

Ben Solo was lying on his bed, in all his glory, jacking off. 

Her eyes snapped open and she saw her beet-red face in the mirror, still covered in black smudges. Gripping the edge of the counter, she carefully laid out every option available: she could walk into his room, jump on top of him, and ride him until the sun came up; she could be nosy and jump back into his mind; or she could pretend she hadn’t seen him at all and give him some privacy. Sober Rey would have made the respectable choice, and although drunk Rey was bold, she wasn’t _that_ bold, so she settled on the in-between option. She closed her eyes and dove back into his mind.

He was envisioning himself gently kissing Rey’s body as he helped her out of her clothes, admiring each newly-exposed piece of skin as it was revealed to him. Once her tunic had fallen to the floor, he helped her out of her leggings, and she stood before him on full display. In his mind, he ran his hands up and down her body, and she could almost feel his touch over their bond. She struggled to undress and focus on his thoughts in her drunken state, almost losing her balance when she went to step out of her leggings, but she managed to catch herself against the counter. He imagined carrying her to a bed and laying her across it, taking in her beauty before pushing her knees apart and kissing her leg from her ankle to her inner thigh, gently nibbling on the sensitive skin, and she knew this time she could feel those kisses and love bites linger on her leg. 

She stepped into the shower and let the warm water cascade over her body, running her hands over her skin, imagining they were Ben’s instead of her own. He was teasing her in his fantasy, almost like he knew she was watching, before relenting and flicking his tongue back and forth over her clit, causing her to gasp in his fantasy and in real-life. She leaned against the wall of the shower, the cold tile sending a shiver down her spine, and reached between her legs to please herself. His tongue against her in his mind was wonderful, but she was greedy and she needed more, something more physical. Her fingers circled her clit and she focused on Ben’s fantasy and felt a wave of warmth rising from the pit of her stomach and heading straight to her brain. Her orgasm came suddenly, and she felt Ben reaching his climax at the same time, and her mind was flooded with pleasure and stars behind her eyes. 

Once her mind had calmed and she could think clearly again, she checked their bond. It was wide open, and he had seen everything, just like she had. His mind was full of astonishment, which made her feel exceptionally good about herself. She could tell he was searching for something to say, but she cut him off. _I’m too drunk to talk about this_ , she told him before closing their bond abruptly. A corner of her mind was wondering why she’d decided to invade his privacy like that, but the rest of her told her it was a good choice. He’d probably done it on purpose anyways. They both wanted to move their relationship along, and this was the best way she could think of to break down the barrier of awkwardness surrounding their inexperience and unfamiliarity with the opposite sex. 

After taking a shower that lasted longer than every shower she'd taken in her life combined, Rey dried herself off and wrapped the towel around her shivering frame, eager to dress herself and climb into the biggest bed she’d probably ever have the pleasure of sleeping in. She headed into her room to retrieve a change of clothes before she realized the fatal flaw in her plan: her bag was still in Ben’s room. Her head fell back and she groaned in frustration. The last thing she wanted to do right now was face him. The shower had sobered her up a little, and she was beginning to see how stupid alcohol made her. She tried to come up with a plan that didn’t involve going into his room to retrieve her bag, but each one she concocted was worse than the last, so she begrudgingly headed back to the refresher and knocked on the door that led to his room.

“My bag is in your room and I need it,” she called through the door. Her voice was full of regret. He didn’t respond, but she heard him shuffling around on the other side. After a few seconds, the door opened, and Ben stood on the other side. He’d thrown on a pair of pants but left his shirt off – Rey knew it had been on purpose – and held out the bag for her, trying not to stare for too long at the sight of her in a towel. She took it, quietly thanked him, and quickly turned away before half-running back to her room.

She threw on some clean clothes and jumped into bed, burying herself in the mountain of pillows and pulling the covers over her head to hide from the mortification that was growing as her drunkenness was fading. Tiredness overtook her quickly, and she drifted off to sleep with hopes that she’d forget her stupidity in the morning.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm getting a pretty good idea of when to upload chapters and such, so here you go. thank you once again for all the support! you're all angels <3

Her sleep had been full of dreams centered around sex. It was such a shame when she woke up and realized they’d only been in her imagination. The throbbing from her head and beaming sunlight pulled her out of her slumber, and she angrily drew the curtains closed with the Force. She didn’t want to wake up, but her stomach growled in protest of the lack of food, so she sat up. Her eyelids were exceptionally heavy, and no amount of rubbing them helped alleviate her exhaustion.

_How’re you feeling this morning?_

Ben’s voice in her head startled her. She hadn’t known he was awake yet. The mortifying memory of last night stood at the forefront of her mind, and nothing she did would make it go away.

She didn’t respond over their bond, but instead groaned loud enough for him to hear in his room. A minute or so went by before she heard the refresher door open. Ben strode over to her bed and sat down on the edge, trying not to laugh at her hangover, but was doing a terrible job.

“You look like you’ve seen better mornings,” he smirked.

“I feel like I’ve been run over by a sandcrawler.” She kept her eyes closed, partially because the daylight made her head throb, and partially because she knew she wouldn’t be able to look him in the eyes just yet.

“I think some breakfast will help you feel a lot better,” he encouraged. His fingers wandered to her hand and gently traced circles on the back of it until she moved to get out of bed. He took her hand and helped her up, and she wanted to keep holding it, but she didn’t want him to take the opportunity to bring up last night, so she let go. She shoved her cold feet into her boots and followed Ben out the door and into the lift.

The ride down to the first floor was comically silent. He’d glance at her, she’d glance at him and he’d snap his attention back to the lift control panel, he’d sneak another look and she’d pretend she was studying the door. At first, she wanted nothing more than to be anywhere in the world but in that lift, but after the fifth time she pretended she hadn’t been looking at him, she began to see the humor in it all. She tried to stifle a giggle but failed, and they both began to laugh at each other’s awkwardness. The ice, at least the first layer of many, had been broken. They arrived at the ground floor and Ben exited the lift first, followed by Rey, who grabbed his hand and resolved not to let go this time.

Coruscant was much too bright for someone who’d never had a hangover in her life. She squinted and stared at the ground, allowing Ben to lead the way through the people and creatures and droids who had already started their day. She’d glance up every once in a while and take in the city for a few seconds, before her pounding headache begged her to continue staring at the ground.

After a few minutes of walking, Ben pulled her into a quaint café with minimal decorations and even fewer patrons. The server, a female Twi’lek with pale blue skin, forced a smile and led them to a table by the window. Rey sank down into her chair and laid her head on the table as she tried to escape any sunlight she could.

“What’ll it be this morning?” their server asked, completely uninterested.

“We’ll take two cups of caf, two orders of panna cakes, and two orders of whatever eggs you have,” he said, gently scratching the top of Rey’s head while he ordered. Her headache was beginning to subside, and his fingers in her hair felt so relaxing, she could’ve gone to sleep on the table.

“It’ll be right out,” the Twi’lek recited mechanically as she walked away. Ben lifted Rey’s head off the table and held her chin in his hand. His eyes were full of warmth and affection as he smiled at her. Although she felt horrible, she smiled back at him and became lost in his beautiful gaze.

“I know our date last night didn’t go as planned,” he started. Rey chuckled before he continued. “So I wanted to take you on a better one. Hopefully we don’t have to kill anyone here.”

Rey suspiciously eyed one of the patrons before turning her attention back to Ben. “I don’t know,” she whispered as she leaned across the table. “That guy in the corner looks like he’s asking for trouble.”

Ben laughed loudly, which caused a few people to stare, but he didn’t mind. His laugh was such a warm sound; it sent a wave of affection through Rey while she watched him. He reached across the table and laced his fingers in between hers before bringing her hand to his lips and kissing it. Rey felt warmth spread across her cheeks and she smiled shyly at him. Stars, he made her weak.

“I’d just like to put it out there that I don’t want to talk about last night,” she stated after reading his thoughts and knowing he was about to bring it up.

“I don’t think there’s really much to talk about anyways,” he chuckled, giving her hand a squeeze. He leaned forward before continuing to speak in a hushed voice. “The only thing worth mentioning is how unbelievably hot you are.”

She couldn’t help but scoff at him and roll her eyes. “That was drunk Rey, who you probably won’t be seeing again for a good while,” she laughed. “I’d just like to know where you learned how to do _that_ , since you’re supposedly just as inexperienced as me."

He sat back and nervously ran his fingers through his hair. “I don’t have any experience, but I’ve done a lot of… studying.” He didn’t meet her gaze, but she knew he meant he’d watched porn videos on the Holonet. She began to wonder if she should do the same.

“Well, with all the studying you’ve done, I’m sure you’ll ace the test when it comes time,” Rey teased, a little surprised at her boldness. Last night, she could blame her lack of inhibition on the wine. This morning, when the alcohol had worn off, there was no other culprit than her desire – no, _lust_ – for Ben.

She’d never seen this look on his face before. He looked intimidated and awestruck and very turned on all at once. There were only a few moments she could appreciate it before their breakfast arrived and their attention was turned towards their food.

Ben wasted no time digging into his breakfast, while Rey attempted to fix her caf like Ben had made it the other morning. She sipped it after every cup of creamer and dash of sugar she added, but she couldn’t get it right. Noticing her struggle, Ben took over without her having to ask. She wanted to protest, but knew how much he enjoyed helping her, so she sat and watched him perfect her beverage. He prepared it with such care, like he did with everything involving her. He was so careful with her, and she wasn’t used to it, but she loved being cared for by him.

For the first time, Ben and Rey just talked, without discussing any plan of attack or plotting what they needed to do next or vaguely threatening one another. They recounted their favorite memories and discussed the best food they’ve eaten and playfully argued over which ships were the best in the galaxy. Any remnants of Rey’s headache melted away as she consumed caf and conversation hungrily. She wanted the rest of her life to be exactly like this. She wanted to wake up to his smile every morning and eat breakfast across from him and traverse the galaxy with him and only him.

Once they’d finished their breakfast, Ben showed her around the city. Many of the shops Rey had marveled at the night before were now open, and he insisted they visit all of them despite her protests. Her favorite shops were the ones with beautiful gowns and extravagant clothing, something she hadn’t had the pleasure of experiencing up until now. A sleek emerald green dress caught her eye in particular, and Ben noticed she spent a few seconds longer marveling at it than she had the others.

“Do you want this dress?” he asked. She scoffed and shook her head vigorously when she saw the price tag.

“I would never pay that much for something, no matter how beautiful it is,” she announced, turning her attention away from the dress. It was absolutely beautiful, but there was no way she would allow him to buy this for her.

He rolled his eyes at her before taking the dress off the rack and walking it up to the counter. Rey pulled on his arm and tried to stop him, but he shook free of her grasp and waved his hand at her as if to say “stop protesting.” She enjoyed his chivalry at times, but she wished he wasn’t so stubborn.

“It’s for a special occasion,” he insisted as he completed the transaction with the creature behind the counter.

“What occasion could be so special to warrant spending that much on a dress?” she demanded, whispering so she didn’t make a scene.

“It’s for after we kill whoever’s left from the First Order and can celebrate our long-awaited freedom,” he answered as he pushed her hair out of her face and kissed her forehead. She wanted to stay annoyed, but she couldn’t when he was being so sweet to her.

“What will you wear, then?” she questioned as they left the shop with the dress.

“We’re going to find it right now,” he replied, taking her hand with his free one and pulling her along behind him. They soon found a shop specializing in suits and other black-tie apparel, and it didn’t take long for Ben to find one he liked: an all black suit with a black collared shirt. Rey smirked to herself. He was no longer Kylo Ren, but still had the same fashion sense as his former self. He stepped into the dressing room with his selections to try them on and emerged a few minutes later to ask her opinion on his choices.

She was speechless, but tried to hide it. He looked unbelievably handsome, somehow more than he did on a daily basis. The suit accentuated his body better than his loose-fitting shirts and pants could ever dream. She wanted nothing more than to drag him back to their hotel and let him know how good he looked.

“I’d ask your opinion, but I already know what you’re thinking,” he said with a cheeky smile.

Rey nodded approvingly, still unable to form a coherent sentence. Ben laughed at her and turned to change back into his normal clothes, winking at her before breaking eye contact. Her insides felt like lava overflowing from volcanoes on Mustafar. She wondered how it was possible for one person to make her feel everything so fully and completely with no control over herself. Being so powerless against someone wasn’t something she was used to, but the feeling was growing on her.

“Ready to go?” Ben’s voice startled her. She stood abruptly and knocked over the chair she was just seated in. He raised an eyebrow at her, but she turned away to hide her embarrassment while she picked up the chair.

“Yeah, let’s go,” she replied, trying to sound much more relaxed than she was. He shook his head and grabbed her hand, bringing it up to his lips and kissing it.

“You know I can read you like a book,” he told her, keeping her hand pressed against his lips as he spoke.

“Only when I allow you to,” she responded coolly, even though her heart had jumped into her throat.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really need to pace myself with these uploads, bc my writer's block is a bitch and i'm 6 chapters away from catching up to the pace i'm writing at, but will that stop me from uploading? definitely not

The duo headed back to the hotel to drop off their purchases and rest before deciding on their next move. Rey didn’t want to talk strategy; all she wanted to do was talk about literally anything else while Ben laid his head on her lap and she played with his hair.  She knew they had to discuss their plan of action,  but she longed for the days where they wouldn’t have to  be fighting something or someone.

“I didn’t get great sleep last night, so I’m going to take a nap, and then we can plan out how to go about this Kaplan thing,” Ben yawned as he unlocked his door and stepped inside. Rey nodded and unlocked her door as well,  disappointed that he didn’t want to take a nap in her bed.  She knew he was a gentleman and wouldn’t impose or make her feel uncomfortable, but  she was growing tired of being patient.

When she entered her room, she hung the dress’s hanger over the corner of the open refresher door and jumped into bed, grabbing  a remote from her bedside table and pressing the power button to see what came to life when she did so. A screen emerged from the wall and  a poorly-directed  romance movie began to play on it. Rey had never had the pleasure of  relaxing in bed and watching a movie, so she focused intently on the characters and tried to ignore the bad acting.

From what she could gather, the male and female character were in love, but for whatever reason were acting uninterested in each other. They’d fight whenever they were together and pine for one another when they were apart. Rey laughed at the irony .  _ Perhaps the universe  _ _ is _ _ trying to tell me something _ , she wondered, but allowed the thought to dissipate before she dwelled anymore on it.  The movie  was only about an hour and a half long, but she poured every o u nce of attention in her body into it, and  breathed a sigh of relief when  the main characters set aside their pride and  confessed their love for one another.

Her thoughts about the movie flowed seamlessly into her thoughts about Ben .  They obviously had some sort of feelings for each other, but were both unsure of how to navigate  a proper relationship. She was too prideful – and perhaps a little scared – to make the first move emotionally ,  and she knew the person Ben used to be was the embodiment of pride itself. Even if he was no longer Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, parts of his old self were bound to linger in his new life.  She tried every which way to defend herself and justify her actions, but deep down she knew she had to get over herself  and do something about it instead of just wishing her life away. She’d almost lost him forever.  There was no way  she could let herself wait around for a tomorrow she wasn’t sure would ever come.  Life was a fleeting beauty, a sunset painted across the sky for a moment in time, and  she needed to marvel at it instead of waiting for the perfect view.

Rey jumped out of bed and gave herself a pep talk as she paced  back and forth in her room. She was going to march into his room, wake him up, kiss him senseless, and let him know how she felt.  After an agonizing few minutes, she’d worked up enough courage to at least  open the door into his room, and she headed through the refresher without too much of a second thought. She reached to turn the handle, but the door swung open from the other side, which startled her.  Ben was standing in front of her, hair a mess, panic in his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, pushing her previous thoughts from her mind. “Are you okay?” She took his face in her hands, and his expression softened slightly.

“I had a dream, sort of like the vision you had,” he choked out after taking a deep breath. “We were on Tatooine, but our plan had gone horribly wrong and we were surrounded, and you –” a sob caught in his throat, stopping his sentence abruptly. He pressed his forehead to Rey’s as he tried to hold in his emotions. His whole body was shaking. “You were captured and executed in front of me,” he finished, still doing his best to keep composure. 

Rey pulled him close, guiding his head to her shoulder,  gently rubbing the back of his head .  She felt him sharply inhale every few seconds in between silent sobs that shook his  body. He collapsed to his knees and buried his head in her tunic while he cried and  desperately pulled her as close to him as possible.  Her heart had  shattered into millions of tiny pieces; seeing him like this was the second most painful thing she’d experienced. She felt helpless. 

After ten minutes, his  breathing had returned to a semi-normal pattern and his sobs were  only sniffles. Rey kneeled down to where she was eye-level with him and  pushed his hair out of his face. His eyes were bloodshot and swollen and tears stained  almost every surface of his face.  He looked like a shell of someone she used to know. Every emotion had been drained from him, spilled out onto her tunic in the form of tears.  She  wiped the remaining tears from his face and  placed her palms on his cheeks, holding his gaze for a few moments before she spoke. 

“Ben,” she started, smiling  sweetly at him . “If you think I’m going to be  killed by someone who used to take orders from you, then you don’t know me very well.” A sad smile  spread across his lips, and he nodded in understanding. 

“I can’t put you in anymore danger,” he pleaded , his voice still shaky. “I just want to run away. I’m so tired of fighting, Rey. It’s all I’ve known  for so long . I can’t do this anymore. I’ll run the rest of my life if it means keeping you out of harm’s way.

“Running away is no life, sweetheart,” she told him, gently caressing his cheeks with her thumbs. “This is the last fight we have to endure, and then we’re free to do anything we want to without  constantly looking over our shoulder.” 

The look on his face said it all: _you’re right._ She knew he was running through every excuse he could think of, but deep down he knew this last fight was inevitable. His rigid body relaxed slightly, and he sat back onto the hotel floor.

“So, what’s our plan?” he asked , dragging his hands down his face .

“Well,” she started . She didn’t know where her sentence was going, but made it up along the way. “I say it’s stupid to do this alone.  Poe, Finn, and Rose are the best fighters I know, and I know they’d be more than willing to help us . We don’t know what we’re up against, so I think it’s best to go in overprepared .”

“How will we even find Kaplan?” he asked. 

“I’ll look for him, since he’s bound to recognize you,” she answered. He began to protest, but she brought her finger to his mouth to shush him. “I’m not going to try to take him by myself. I’m simply going to _look_ for him. That’s all.” Her answer seemed to put Ben a little more at ease. 

“Do you know what he looks like?” 

Rey hesitated. She’d seen him in her vision, but his face was a fuzzy memory. She mostly remembered his uniforms,  which he probably wouldn’t be wearing on  Tatooine .

“Um, I don’t,” she admitted. “But  you could help me recognize him. All you’d have to do was stay tuned into our bond, and you could be my second set of eyes.” 

She could see that he wanted to protest, but didn’t.  Her point was fairly solid.

“I don’t like it, but I think it’s the best we can do ,” Ben admitted. He stood and extended a hand to Rey,  pulling her up with ease.

“I think we should get going now and get this over with ,” she told him. “I know you, and I know myself, and we’ll both be on edge until this is taken care of.”  He nodded in reluctant agreement.

“We can always come back and enjoy the hotel more once we’re done ,” he  said, a hint of flirtation in his words.  Rey laughed and rolled her eyes before playfully  swatting his arm.

“I’ll get my things packed. See you on the Falcon,”  she said before turning back  towards her room. 

She didn’t have much to pack. After throwing her clothes back into her bag and grabbing the dress off the door , she slipped on her boots and took the lift to the landing pad.  The city flashed before her eyes as the lift ascended, and she committed as much of it as she could to memory.  She knew they’d be back, but didn’t know when, so the memory of the shining city would have to do until their return. 

The Falcon was a sight for sore eyes. Their hotel was beautiful, but Rey took more comfort in the simple and familiar than in opulence and extravagance. She tossed her bag onto the floor but treated the dress with more care, slipping the hook of the hanger over a pipe in the ceiling before heading to the cockpit. The ship roared to life, and the whirr of the new generator was music to her ears. 

She  fiddled with the comm -system for a bit before figuring out how to send a transmission to Finn , Rose, and Poe. After rehearsing what she planned on saying  five times, she scrapped all her ideas and did what she did best: figured it out along the way.

“Hey guy s. So, Ben and I need your help with something.” She paused for a few moments before continuing, unsure of how to approach  the situation. “There’s a First Order colonel named Kaplan on  Tatooine , and he found out Ben’s alive and sent bounty hunters after  him . It sounds a lot worse than it was , now that I think about it. They weren’t too much trouble. Anyways, we’re going to  Tatooine to end this for good. We don’t know what we’re walking into, and could use  your help. You’re the best fighters I know. Please respond when you receive this message. We’re headed to  Tatooine now. May the Force be with you.”  She lifted her finger from the record button and pressed send, crossing her fingers that her friends would respond in a timely manner .

The click of Ben’s boots on the  ramp excited her, but she quickly calmed herself.  She reminded herself they were on a mission and needed to focus on the task at hand before anything else happened. She also rationalized that she needed to seize any opportunity she had to be alone with him before they arrived on Tatooine, because once they arrived, they wouldn’t be alone. 

“What’re you thinking so hard about?” Ben asked with a chuckle. Rey ’s brow had been furrowed without her knowing , and she quickly relaxed her features when it was brought to her attention.

“Nothing,” she replied casually, trying to dismiss the conversation . “ Are we ready to go?”

“Sure, but who said you’re flying?” he  questioned.

“Last time you flew, we ended up with a shot generator, so I’m flying this time,”  she asserted . He didn’t re spond verbally; he only laughed to himself and  began to focus intently on a scratch on the control panel. 

“What’re  _ you _ thinking so hard about?” she asked him after minutes of silence.

“Oh,  _ nothing _ ,” he sighed sarcastically.

She shot him a playful warning glance before guiding the ship away from the hotel and  into the vastness she was growing  more and more comfortable with.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm trying so hard to pace myself bc in real time i'm nearing the end of this story and i know i'll be super depressed once i'm done :(

Light speed was a luxury Rey had missed.  She’d slept most of their trip to  Coruscant ,  which had been nice, but being able to get to  Tatooine in  a matter of a few hours instead of half a day was  the better side of the coin. 

Finn had replied to her transmission and told her they’d be on  Tatooine by sunrise tomorrow with a surprise. She didn’t know what that meant, but she trusted her allies enough to know that whatever the surprise could be, it w as bound to be a good one. Their allegiance eased Rey’s nerves slightly, but  she was still uneasy. Ben sensed her unease, and the dyad had hashed out a handful of plans to take down their enemy. Neither of them had any sort of idea what they’d be walking into, so playing out any possible scenario was their best bet.

“Where are we going to land when we get there?”  Rey asked. She’d planned for almost everything except for this.

“It’s literally a desert the size of a planet,” he replied with a sarcastic huff. “I think we’ll be able to find somewhere.”

“ Gods, it was just a simple question,” she shot back defensively. “You don’t have to be  such an ass about it.” 

“Sorry,” he replied, softening his tone. “ I’m just a little on-edge. I know we’ve planned this all out, but I still don’t want to do this.”

“ I only want to do this because it means we’re free once it’s over with,” she explained while keeping her eyes on the stars shooting past them. Ben came to a realization and looked at her quizzically before speaking up.

“You know something?” he started, a smile toying with his lips.

“What?” she asked , uncertain of where he could be going with this question .

“ I think t hat’s the first time I’ve ever heard you curse.” He looked  amused and almost proud at the revelation. 

“I’ve definitely cursed in front of you before ,” she assured him, rolling her eyes.

“I don’t remember it,” he said disappointedly.  Rey set the Falcon to autopilot before turning in the chair to face him, crossing her arms .

“Well, I don’t  _ fucking _ care,” she teased, putting unnecessary emphasis on  the curse.  The expression that overcame his face was the one from the  breakfast café . Rey knew exactly what she was doing . 

“Is that so?” Ben asked, tryi ng to assert himself but failing miserably. Rey rose from her chair and stood over him – as much as she could stand over him, due to their  massive height difference – and  smiled sweetly with a devilish glint in her eye.

“Yeah, it  _ fucking _ is.” The word felt strange and unfamiliar rolling off her tongue, but she was willing to become accustomed to saying it as long as it got this much of a rise out of Ben. His cheeks were flushed, and he took a deep breath to calm himself. The Falcon was approaching the  end of the  hyperlane , so Rey had to focus on guiding the ship to the sandy surface instead of indulging in the look Ben was giving her.

She  saw the surface of  Tatooine expanding rapidly in front of them , and she shuddered in disgust at the miles and miles of desert. She’d  been here only a month ago, but  it only felt like yesterday that she’d buried the Skywalker’s sabers here.  Part of her wondered why she’d suggested coming back here in the first place.

“We can land in between those dunes  over  there,” he suggested, pointing to  the  giant hills of sand.

Rey ignored him and guided the ship down gently on top of a mountainous rock formation that overlooked the city. Mos Eisley was about two miles from their ship, so they were close enough to keep an eye on their target without being discovered. She’d have to walk to the city every day, but hopefully the manhunt wasn’t too drawn out, because the thought of living in sand for longer than a week made her skin crawl.

“I just realized I’m going to be stuck in this ship all day while you ’re on the hunt for Kaplan,” Ben complained , allowing his head to fall back against the seat and groaning . 

“I won’t be gone all day, sweetheart,” she replied, imitating his  tone and making a pouting face. “Plus, if you really get that bored, we can  disguise you so you can come with me.”

“I think I like that idea better anyways, because that means I can spend time with you.”  Any other time, Rey would’ve thought he was being sarcastically sweet, but she could tell he was serious. She noticed his attention had been focused on her  lips when she spoke , and  when he was finished speaking, he pulled  her into a  deep kiss .

“If you keep charming me this much, we won’t get anything done while we’re here ,” she giggled as she wrapped a scarf around her neck and hair to protect herself from the sand and sun. Once she’d covered herself adequately, she helped  Ben with his head scarf , slowly circling the fabric around his neck and over his head, holding his gaze while she did so. She kissed the tip of his nose  once his scarf was in place and pulled him along behind her  out into the sand-infested wilderness.

The trek to  the city wasn’t as bad as Rey had expected. The suns were setting, so it wasn’t exceptionally hot, and the wind was barely a breeze that stirred the hem of their cloaks every so often.  They walked hand in hand – a simplicity that made them both happier than they’d admit. It was the first sign they’d have a normal life once  the First Order was eliminated for good. 

“Show me the bar you gambled at,” Rey requested, and Ben complied without question, pulling her along behind him. She quickly committed her surroundings to memory and recognized the doorway of the bar as they pushed through the crowded entrance. The pungent odor was an assault on Rey’s senses, causing her eyes to water at the foulness. It’s like she was on Jakku again, brushing up against sweat-covered bodies while she tried to make it to her destination without incident. She wasn’t sure if the memory or the smell made her want to vomit more.

He led her to a small table in the corner of the bar, the only table that wasn’t occupied by drunk patrons or  half-full glasses  of discarded drinks. She sat uncomfortably in the wobbly chair while Ben crouched beside her, making himself as scarce as he could.

_ You came  _ here _ to gamble?  _ She asked disapprovingly over the bond. She saw  him chuckle before responding.

_ I knew I’d have the best luck here _ ,  he replied as he scanned the crowd.  _ Mind tricks only work on the weak-minded, remember? _

Rey’s eyes widened in surprise and she grabbed his face to look him in the eyes. _ You actually hustled these people? _

_ I mean, yeah. _ He said it with such assurance.  She couldn’t see it behind the scarf, but she knew he was smirking.  _ You remember I’m a Solo, right? It’s in my blood. _ __

She narrowed her eyes at him, her frown concealed behind her scarf . He had a point – hustling was in his blood – but she was still a little disappointed.  Perhaps she’d hoped he would be living life like an honest man now. The thought made her chuckle as soon as it crossed her mind. Ben  was redeemed, but was still a scoundrel. A tall, handsome, charming scoundrel.

_Focus, my love_ , he teased. Even after all this time, she still often forgot how easily he could read her thoughts. She blushed as her mind lingered on the term of endearment for a moment, before she sensed something. 

_I think he’s here,_ she thought as she scanned the crowd.

_I sense him too,_ Ben acknowledged, pulling the hood of his cloak further over his head.

Rey’s eyes locked onto a man who had just entered the bar. He wore tattered grey clothing underneath a robe ridden with holes. He had the face of someone who’d been loyal to the First Order – solemn and stern – with a hardness that could only come from living on Tatooine. She knew this was Kaplan before Ben confirmed her suspicion. The colonel noticed her gaze and met it for a moment before Rey glanced away, panic overtaking her senses.

_Ben, you have to leave,_ she urged without looking at her partner. _He’s coming over here._

Ben reluctantly shuffled a few feet away, still crouched, before standing and casually approaching the bar to order a drink. He kept his eyes locked on Rey as Kaplan drew closer. She could feel his readiness to kill the colonel at the drop of a hat. She kept her focus on one of the dirty glasses at the table in front of her. Kaplan’s worn-out boots clicked on the grimy floor, a sound that made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

“What’s a  pretty girl like you doing all alone in a place like this?” he asked, his gravelly voice  cutting through the chatter from the other patrons. 

“Who says I’m alone?” she replied coldly , refusing to meet his gaze. Ben’s anger was palpable on his end of their bond.

“Come on,” he scoffed, glancing around them. “If someone brought you here and left you, they’re not much of a good man, are they?”

_Don’t_ , she warned. She could feel Ben gripping his glass so tightly, it was seconds away from shattering.

“I don’t need a man to take care of me. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”  She knew she couldn’t look at him, because her eyes would betray her. She acted calm, but she was terrified and angry.

Kaplan nodded and smiled sarcastically at her. “ Well, if you ever change your mind, you know where to find me,” he said with a wink.

The sound of breaking glass startled her, but she didn’t turn to the noise. She knew it was Ben. Kaplan began to crane his neck, curious as to who had caused the commotion, but Rey brought his attention back.

“I’ll keep it in mind if I'm ever that desperate,” she sneered, still not making eye contact, before calmly standing and making her way out of the bar, even though she wanted nothing more than to run back to the Falcon and leave this godforsaken planet for good. She snaked through the sweaty bar occupants alone, begging for Ben to follow her before he caused more of a scene than he already had. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally, things are picking up and starting to get to the whole thing they've planned! i'm also writing a side story unrelated to this one, full of angst and a much different rey x kylo/ben dynamic. would yall be interested in me uploading that too? leave a comment if you want me to upload it! i also have a nunch of social media, so follow me on there :) twitter/insta: bai_solo tumblr: bai-solo


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've been trying so hard to get my shit together and just finish this story, but i had a headache for like 4 days and was just exhausted over the last two weeks :( i finally got it together after putting off writing for far too long, and chapter 17 is DONE. so, to reward myself for finishing it, i decided to post another chapter for yall. i'll also be uploading my super angsty fic very soon >:D

The night air was uncomfortably warm and still, even though the sun had just finished setting. The breeze they’d felt earlier was a faint memory, with the only noise coming from inside the bar and the handful of Mos Eisley inhabitants ambling around the city. Rey felt panic rising from the pit of her stomach through her chest and into her throat, but she took a deep breath and pleaded with the Force to calm her anxiety. She sat against the side of a building close enough to keep an eye on the door of the bar but far enough away to be hidden, and she waited, breathing deeply to calm her racing heart.

  
After no more than two minutes, she saw Ben push his way through the crowd and out into the street before he stormed off in the direction of their ship.

 _Ben_ , she called to him, staying seated against the building. His mind was closed to her, but she saw him slow his pace before stopping.

 _Can we talk about this later? I’m not in the mood to do this now_ , he responded, more coldly than Rey was prepared for. His tone reminded her of Kylo, and instead of being hurt by his behavior, she felt frustration bubbling up inside her, pushing her panic away. They’d come here on a mission, and he was allowing his feelings to get in the way. She didn’t humor him with a response before closing the bond, too angry with his childish reaction to continue the conversation. He hesitated a moment before continuing in the direction of the Falcon.

Rey stood, dusting the sand from her cloak, and resolved to wait atop a building for Kaplan to emerge. Ben was already proving to be more of a liability than an asset in their mission, and part of her wished she’d left him on Coruscant while she came to Tatooine alone. Her heart panged with guilt as the thought crossed her mind, but deep down, she knew this wasn’t going to go according to plan. Nothing involving them ever seemed to go according to plan. 

She circled around to the side of the building before Force-jumping to the roof, landing softly on the adobe structure. The view of the bar wasn’t the best from here, but she could still manage to keep an eye out without being seen. She hoped Kaplan wouldn’t be staying much longer in the bar, because her patience as a whole was wearing thin. Breathing deeply, she seized the opportunity of being alone with her thoughts to meditate, calling out to the Force to guide her next steps. 

Rey soon lost track of time, only focusing on the Force, feeling the push and pull of it, until it pushed her to open her eyes. Kaplan was stumbling out of the bar, clearly drunk, and heading the opposite direction Ben had taken off in earlier. She crouched, moving stealthily in line with her drunken target, jumping from rooftop to rooftop to keep up with him. Keeping track of him wasn’t as hard as she’d thought it would be; his movements were sluggish and strained, as if he’d never walked before today. The sight made her giggle to herself.

 _What’s so funny?_ she heard Ben ask in her mind. He sounded annoyed. The question startled her and caused her to momentarily lose focus. She didn’t answer him and shifted her focus back to the stumbling colonel, who had fallen against the door of a motel room and began to call out to whoever was on the other side of it.

“Let me in,” he slurred angrily, knocking on the door. The door opened and he fell into the room, causing the room’s occupants to roar with laughter. Each voice sounded menacing and dangerous, which made Rey want to turn back, but she’d already come this far, so she harnessed the Force and buckled down. Once the door was closed, she jumped down and snuck over to the motel room, hoping no one would come in or out while she eavesdropped.

She pressed her ear against the wall underneath the window and held her breath, straining to hear the muffled conversation among whoever and whatever was inside. 

“All of them? They’re all gone?” Kaplan asked, his words blurring together. 

“Yes, all of them,” a creature responded in a low growl. 

There was a moment of silence before Kaplan spoke again.

“How the fuck did that happen?” he demanded, but no one offered any answers.

“Sir, he wasn’t alone,” a feminine voice spoke up. “Olba said there was a girl with him.”

Rey’s stomach dropped. They were talking about Ben. And her.

“A _girl_?” Kaplan sneered. “What did she look like?” 

“Small, quiet, serious,” the female voice rattled off confidently. “Said she didn’t say anything, but he could tell she was a Jedi. Apparently Kylo seemed pretty protective of her.” 

Kaplan laughed drunkenly and for far too long. The uncomfortable silence from the others in the room could’ve been cut with a knife.

“Did he get the tracker installed on the generator?” Kaplan demanded once he’d collected himself.

“Obviously,” someone else spoke up. “It says they’re on Tatooine right now.”

Rey didn’t stay to hear the rest of the conversation. She sprinted back to the Falcon, adrenaline propelling her across the sand, her senses growing numb to the elements. All she cared about was getting away from them. She didn’t slow down until she was back in the ship, breathing so heavily she thought she might hyperventilate.

“Ben, they know we’re here,” she panted, her voice hoarse from breathing so hard. “The thing you bought the generator from put a tracker on it, and they tracked us. They know we’re here together.” She rushed to the generator and frantically searched for the tracker, which she found tucked in the middle of a bundle of wires, and ripped it off and smashed it under her heel.

Ben was sitting in the cockpit, facing forward, and didn’t turn to her when she’d returned. 

“How many of them were there?” he asked quietly. His demeanor made Rey uneasy.

“I don’t know. Kaplan, some girl, and two other creatures at least. I didn’t see inside the room.” She made her way to where he was seated and stood in front of him. “Are you okay? You don’t seem like yourself.” 

He glanced up at her before quickly turning away. She could see the fear and anger in his eyes. She reached down to take his hand, but he pulled it away, trying to conceal the deep cuts in his palm. 

“Oh, sweetheart, your poor hand,” she whispered in shock, gingerly taking his hand and bringing it closer to examine it. The shards of glass from the cup he’d smashed earlier were gone, but the gashes in his skin remained as proof of his burst of outrage. She sat on one of his legs and held his hand between hers and healed his injuries, wishing she could heal his sour mood as well. He didn’t pull his hand away this time and she continued to hold it as she leaned against him, burying her head in the crook of his neck. 

“This will all be over soon,” she whispered against his skin, sending chills over every inch of his body. “After this, we’ll never have to worry about each other’s safety. We can just be happy.”

Ben didn’t speak, but wrapped his arms around Rey in the tightest embrace she’d ever experienced, as if he were scared she’d float away if he let go. She didn’t protest; she knew he needed this just as much as her, if not more. He loosened his grip on her and stood, scooping her up in his arms, one arm under her back, the other under her knees. She looped her arms around his neck as he carried her to the bed she’d slept in twice before. He gently sat her down on the mattress before climbing in next to her and bringing the sheet and blanket over their bodies. The anger in his gaze had dissipated, but the fear remained. He wrapped his arms around her again and pulled her to his chest. She laid her head over his heart and listened to the rapid pounding return to a steady heartbeat the longer they laid together. 

“I’m sorry for earlier,” he breathed, his voice barely a whisper. “Seeing him brought back so many years I wish I could forget. I would’ve killed him then if it meant I’d never have to remember my time with the First Order again.”

“I know, my love,” she whispered back, bringing her hand to his cheek. “This will all be over soon. I know I keep saying it, but it’s the only thing we’ve got to hold on to.” 

“That’s not necessarily true,” he replied.

“What do you mean?” Rey asked, confusion creeping into her tone.

“We can hold onto each other, too,” he chuckled, giving her another squeeze before drifting off to sleep with Rey still in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter contains SPICY MATERIAL. finally. ;)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here’s some sugar n spice n everything nice

Rey wanted nothing more than to stay in bed all day, in Ben’s arms, listening to his heartbeat. She’d fantasized about this since their meeting on Tadonka, when he knocked her out and carried her back to his ship. There was only a fraction of a second between when he held her and she was unconscious, but she would dwell on that moment when her mind began to wander until she snapped herself back to the present. She chuckled in amusement at the situation; who would’ve thought they would actually be here, together, in this situation? The universe definitely had a twisted sense of humor.

She remembered the reason they were here, and the pleasant thoughts were quickly driven out by fear and anger. Finn, Rose, and Poe would be arriving at some point within the next hour or two, and they’d have to plan their attack carefully, since Kaplan clearly had people working for him. Ben couldn’t go with them this time around after the incident from the night before, so Rey would have to lead her friends into the situation with care. Kaplan knew Ben had been with a girl who looked like a Jedi, but she didn’t think he was bright enough or sober enough to connect her to Ben after their encounter at the bar.

Rey rolled over, reluctantly moving her head from Ben’s chest, and sighed heavily. She considered leaving Tatooine for the last time and running away from their problems, even though she’d chastised Ben for offering the same idea. They could live on Ajan Kloss. Kaplan would have no idea to look for them there. Their lives would be boring, but peaceful and worry-free.

“I know the last Jedi isn’t thinking of running from a fight,” Ben grumbled sleepily as he rolled over and buried his face in his pillow.

“Hey now,” she said, poking his ear, the only part of him visible. “You were the one who wanted to run two days ago.”

“I’ve had a change of heart,” he replied, his voice muffled. “I can’t let someone talk to my girl the way he did and live to tell the tale.”

A wave of warmth swelled through Rey and caused her to melt from the inside out. He called her _his girl,_ a sentiment she never thought would make her so excited and nervous. She couldn’t fight the smile overtaking her face and the redness spreading across her cheeks. Ben peeked up from his pillow when she hadn’t spoken for a few seconds, but was put at ease when he saw the state she was in.

“Nice to see you’re no longer fighting me at every turn,” he reveled as he pulled her in for a deep kiss. Even with his morning breath and unruly hair, he was everything Rey could ever dream of wanting.

“I still plan on fighting you on _some_ of the turns,” she teased between kisses, biting his bottom lip softly.

“And you think you’ll stand a chance at winning those fights?” he questioned, his voice low and intense.

“Remember, Ben,” she whispered against his lips. “I’ve won every one of our fights so far. I wouldn’t push your luck.”

The look of surprise and arousal in his eyes gave her the cue to throw one of her legs over his body and climb on top of him before continuing to kiss him slowly. The friction on his lap caused him to groan and kiss her even harder, his lips begging for her to stop teasing him with painfully soft kisses and to just let go. She appeased his request, but very slowly, which elicited a string of curses from him.

_Be patient,_ she urged, _or I’ll keep teasing you for the next hour._ Her threat caused him to take a deep breath and attempt to calm himself, which didn’t last for long as Rey began trailing kisses down his jawline and neck.

_Empress, please._ His plea sounded labored and short-of-breath, even over their bond. Hearing him call her that – Empress – made her feel something she couldn’t put into words. She felt powerful and dark and _sexy_ all at once for the first time in her life. Her energy quickly changed and her kisses turned into love bites, alternating between sucking on his pale skin and gently biting it. Her goal was to make him beg for her, to tell her what he wanted, to plead for mercy from the teasing she would put him through. She felt him growing hard underneath her and she smirked against his neck before reaching under his shirt and pulling it over his head in one motion. She tossed the shirt to the side and continued her trail of hickeys and bites down his body. His muscular chest and abs felt so right against her lips. She wondered if _every_ part of him would feel so right against her lips. She thought back to the hotel, when she was so ready to march into his room and take charge, and she summoned that version of herself to take over.

Rey climbed off his body and onto the floor, bringing his legs off the bed so he was sitting on the edge. Excitement and nerves pooled in the pit of her stomach, but she knew what she wanted. She wanted _him_. She kneeled and reached for the waist of his pants, ready to take his erection between her lips and please him until he came, but he grabbed her wrists to stop her.

“Are you sure?” he asked, still breathless. The look in his eyes was one Rey hadn’t seen before. He looked nervous and vulnerable and almost… shy.

“Absolutely,” she answered, giving him a reassuring smile, even though she was beginning to question her confidence. Ben wasn’t fully convinced, but guided her hands to his waistband. The touch of her fingers on his lower abdomen was electric, sending sparks through both of their bodies. Rey kept her eyes locked with his as she tucked her fingers below the waist of his pants and pulled down, exposing him completely. She sat back, taking in the sight of him. He looked like a _god_ ; pale, muscular, and very well-endowed. Her eyes lingered for a moment longer on his manhood, because she’d never actually seen him naked before.

“Wow,” she breathed admiringly, bringing her eyes back up to meet his. “You look like you could be a marble statue.” The compliment sounded much better in her head, but she could tell it had eased his nerves. A flush of pink spread across his cheeks as he smiled sheepishly at her. This version of Ben was so different from the others she’d known before. He was usually confident, sure of himself, and maybe even a little cocky at times, but here he was, fully on display in front of her, and he was worried about what she would think of him, as if he were anything less than a masterpiece.

She scooted forward, positioning herself in between his legs, moving slowly so she could figure out what to do first. His dick was much too big to fit completely in her mouth, and she’d never given oral before, but she had the general idea of it down: use your tongue, go up and down, don’t use teeth, and make eye contact every once in a while. She fought the nerves off and looked up at him seductively, holding his gaze while she took his length in one hand and licked it from base to tip.

“ _Holy fuck_ ,” he shuddered, gripping the edge of the mattress so hard his knuckles turned white. Rey took his reaction as a good sign and closed her lips around the head of his dick, eliciting another curse from him, and slowly began to bob her head up and down, moving her hand in the same rhythm.

“Oh gods, my beautiful Empress, why are you so good at this?” His speech was strained through gritted teeth. He’d tangled his hands in her hair and gripped harder every time her tongue grazed a spot he was particularly fond of. The sensation each time he pulled her hair fueled her lust for him. This was the most powerful she’d ever felt. She had the former Supreme Leader of the First Order reduced to a stuttering mess at the mercy of her lips and tongue. Her enthusiasm got the best of her as she sank her mouth down a little too far, causing herself to choke slightly before she continued. Ben groaned with pleasure at the sound and sensation of her choking on his dick, so she did it again.

“Sorry,” she said seductively. “You’re just _so_ _big_.” She licked the tip, allowing saliva to drip down her tongue and onto his length before taking him in her mouth again. His eyes rolled back in his head and a shiver ran through his every limb. Rey loved seeing him like this.

“Rey, I’m gonna cum.” His raspy voice has a hint of panic in it, which caused her to panic a little as well. She hadn’t thought this far ahead. Would she be okay letting him finish in her mouth? The thought seemed off-putting, but what other options did they have? At this point, anything else would be anti-climactic and a lot less sexy, so she shook off the uncertainty and continued to suck. His hand flew to the back of her head to stop her, but she swatted it away, and he cursed and shuttered with pleasure as he came in her mouth. The taste wasn’t as horrible as she’d thought it would be, but the texture was strange, so she swallowed as quickly as she could and stood to kiss him before he could suspect anything. His eyes were wide and full of surprise, along with something else she couldn’t quite place.

“Rey, you are –” he began to speak, but was cut off by a beeping coming from the comms-system.

“That must be Finn,” she speculated, kissing Ben once more before rushing to the cockpit to answer the incoming transmission.

“We’re coming in hot!” Finn called over the speaker. “Where’s the Falcon parked?”

“About two miles west of Mos Eisley. We’re on top of a big cliff,” she directed, watching Finn’s ship grow from a speck in the sky to its full size. Rey cut off the comms-system and headed to lower the ramp for her comrades. Ben was throwing his clothing back on and doing his best to smooth his unruly curls. She noticed the bright red bruises cascading down his neck and giggled in amusement.

“If your hair doesn’t give it away, I think your neck definitely will,” she teased, sneaking in one last kiss before smoothing her own hair and doing her best to compose herself as her friends made their way up the ramp.

“Nice to see you didn’t get yourselves killed before we arrived,” Finn laughed as he hugged Rey.

“It wasn’t for lack of trying, that’s for sure,” she joked. “What’s the surprise you have?”

Finn didn’t need to answer. Poe and Rose came trudging up the ramp, followed by Chewie, who let out an excited growl when he saw Rey. Chewie had taken a ship after the war ended and flown around the galaxy, stopping every so often to refuel. Leia’s death had been particularly hard on him, and that was his way of coping with it.

“Chewie! It’s so good to see you!” she exclaimed, greeting him with a hug. He noticed Ben and grew silent, a menacing look in his eyes. Rey stepped between them and held up her hand before speaking slowly. “It’s okay. This is Ben. Kylo is gone.”

Chewie examined Ben without saying anything. He studied him from head to toe, as if contemplating whether or not Rey was telling the truth. After a painfully uncomfortable few moments, Chewie lumbered up to Ben and gave him a big hug, a hug that was reminiscent of a prodigal son returning home after fifteen years and being greeted with open arms. Ben laughed in surprise at the warm welcome he’d received from his old friend.

“Okay, so what’s the plan?” Poe asked, bringing everyone back to the matter at hand.

“Right. So Kaplan has bounty hunters working for him,” Rey explained to the group. “We saw him at a bar last night, and followed him to a motel where he met with some of his hunters. They told him about Ben and I. They know Ben, and they know he had a girl with him, but I don’t think they know what I look like. The guy we bought the generator from had a tracker placed on it, so they know we’re here.”

“Doesn’t sound very promising,” Poe huffed.

“I think we’ll be able to handle this,” Rose said confidently. “A few bounty hunters are no match for us. They’re brutes who don’t have the knack for strategy that we do. We’ll be fine.” Chewie roared in agreement.

“We should go into town and figure out our plan of attack, and probably gather some supplies while we’re there,” Finn suggested. Everyone nodded in concession and headed back down the ramp.

“Nope, you’re staying here,” Rey protested as Ben tried to sneak out with the group. “We can’t risk them seeing you, especially since they know you’re here now.”

Ben allowed his head to fall back as he groaned, drawing Poe’s attention to him. Poe noticed the hickeys on his neck and snapped his attention to Rey, his eyes wide and an amused smirk on his face. She waved her hand dismissively at him, trying not to let her embarrassment show, and he continued down the ramp, giving her a thumbs-up.

“We’ll be back soon. You won’t be too bored for too long,” she assured Ben, kissing him quickly before exiting the Falcon.

Rey led her comrades to Mos Eisley, the journey proving to be much less pleasant than it had been the night before. The mid-morning sun beamed down on them and the breeze was more of an annoyance than a relief, blowing sand against their sweat-covered skin. Rey knew how to dress for this environment, but her friends were poorly equipped for the elements and suffered slightly during their trek to the city. 

“Which bar did you see him at?” Finn questioned, spitting out grains of sand that had blown into his mouth.

Rey gestured towards the bar, which was closed at this hour. Chewie told the group that he’d been there before with Han, and that’s where most smugglers and criminals go to gamble.

“Did Han ever gamble there?” Rey asked, wondering if that’s how Ben knew about it. Chewie gave her a glaringly sarcastic glance, which was all the answer she needed. Ben’s memories of his father were getting them into more trouble than she would’ve guessed.

“The motel Kaplan stumbled over to is over there –” she gestured to the run-down motel, “ – which is easily seen from on top of that building.” She turned to point to the building she’d meditated on while waiting for Kaplan to leave.

“So what I’m hearing is we’re going to ambush them,” Poe speculated, hands on his hips, thinking deeply.

“Not necessarily,” Rey countered, but she knew the wheels in his head were already turning.

“No really, it’ll be easy. All we have to do is wait up there and lure them out of the motel and pick them off one-by-one. Or we do it the fun way and ambush them.” An excited smile spread across his face. He was always ready for a fight.

“I think we’ll need a more sophisticated plan than that,” Rose scoffed, crossing her arms. “Kaplan was First Order, and even though he’s working with bounty hunters, that doesn’t mean he won’t have multiple backup plans. Whatever we do, we need to make sure we do it well, and account for anything that could go wrong.”

“Exactly,” Rey agreed. She knew Rose had a good head on her shoulders, but she was always consistently surprised at her strategizing. “What we’ll do is wait for Kaplan to go into the bar. I’m sure he’ll be alone again. Then, we can stake out the motel, and pick off the bounty hunters. Once Kaplan is done, he’ll come stumbling out of the bar again, and that’s when we’ll get him.”

Finn nodded in agreement. “I’ll be on top of that building with Chewie. We’re the best shots, so we’ll be able to pick them off quickly.”

“I’ll be down here with Rey, keeping an eye on everything and making sure everything is going according to plan,” Rose explained. “Poe, you can do surveillance from the inside of the bar.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” he chuckled.

The group was about to split up to gather supplies when a rusty droid stumbled into the middle of their half-formed circle.

“Sabaac tournament tonight after sunset at the Spaceport Cantina. Drinks half-price for anyone participating.” The droid’s voice was tinny and uneven as he cranked out the message before stumbling away from them and into the middle of another crowd.

“Well, that puts a wrench in our plan,” Poe sighed. “Now what’re we going to do?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> want some angst? I’m writing another story! it’s called out of range and you can find it in my works :)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, sorry for the delay in posting. Things have been very crazy and stressful with everything going on in the world and it’s emotionally exhausting. I haven’t been in the best headspace, but I’m hoping I’ll get back out of this funk and get back to my regularly scheduled writing/posting. Much love <3

The group stood silently, considering their options. There weren’t many. Rey wracked her brain – there had to be some way they could still pull this off tonight. Their chances of walking away unscathed were dropping the longer they stayed on this planet.

“Kaplan and his cronies are obviously going to enter the tournament,” Finn speculated, furrowing his brow. “How do we just happen to end up there without seeming like we’re up to something?”

“What if Poe enters into the tournament?” Rey asked, expecting to be shot down immediately, but the rest of her friends had an expression on their face saying they’d been thinking the same thing.

“What good would that do for us?” he questioned, clearly offended. “So we get in there, and I’m gambling. Then what? What’s the plan after that?” Rey hadn’t thought that far ahead.

“I don’t think killing them in the cantina is an option,” Rose sighed. “We’ll have to somehow draw them out or hit them before they go in.”

Rey glanced around them, suddenly hyper-aware they were discussing this much too openly. “We need to get our supplies and get back to the ship, then we can figure it out somewhere more private. You never know who could be listening.”

Rey and Rose split off to find some food for the group while Finn, Poe, and Chewie headed off to find the cantina and sign Poe up for the tournament. A handful of vendors had set up tents and were selling various supplies, so the girls browsed the selection before making any decisions.

“I couldn’t help but notice Ben’s neck,” Rose giggled, smiling awkwardly at Rey. The girls hadn’t spent much time alone together, but she could tell they both longed for the companionship of another woman in their life, and even if this was an awkward conversation starter, Rey welcomed the friendship.

“In my defense, I didn’t know they’d be so obvious,” she chuckled sheepishly. “This is all pretty new to me.”

“Me too,” Rose sighed as she examined a booth selling clay mugs and plates. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s great. It’s just –”

“Scary.” Rey finished Rose’s sentence for her.

Rose scoffed at herself. “You’d think after going to war, nothing would be scary anymore.”

“It’s just the fear of the unknown,” Rey reminded her as they continued down the row of tents. “I’d never seen a naked man before Ben.” The bond glowed in the back of her mind at the mention of his name, but she quickly shut him out before he could speak.

“Me either. But I mean Finn, obviously. Not Ben,” Rose stuttered. Rey couldn’t help but laugh, and the mood lightened between them when Rose joined in her laughter. They were used to being so serious all the time that it felt strange to genuinely laugh about something.

The girls casually chatted while they gathered supplies, talking and laughing and sharing stories about the awkwardness of navigating their first relationships. Rose’s bubbly personality contrasted with how subdued Rey’s was, but their differences is what made their friendship stronger. Neither of them had many friends growing up, and companionship – true, genuine desire to be around someone without having to simply tolerate them because you were fighting the same war – was something they hadn’t known they’d longed for until now.

Once they’d found food, weapons, and a change of clothing for Rey and Ben, the girls headed towards the cantina to meet up with the rest of their group. The cantina resembled the bar they scoped out last night, but significantly more full of scum. It was close to noon, and patrons were already stumbling out of the establishment, falling face-first into the sand due to their drunkenness. Rey side-stepped a large creature who reeked of Corellian whiskey and peered into the cantina, hoping her friends would see her and come right out, but she knew it wouldn’t be that simple.

Poe called to them from across the cantina, raising a glass full of amber liquid in their direction. Rose scowled at him and Rey shook her head disapprovingly before making her way to their table, keeping her head down and her hood up so she wouldn’t be recognized.

“Did you sign up for the tournament?” Rey asked curtly, crossing her arms and raising her eyebrow at them. Finn and Chewie were also drinking some sort of alcohol, but Poe seemed to be much further ahead of them in his consumption.

“Of course we did,” he answered, his speech slurring ever so slightly. “Why do you think we’re drinking? We’re celebrating in advance since I’m obviously going to win.”

“Fat chance,” a voice called from the bar. Rey tensed up; she recognized the female voice from the motel. Everyone turned to see who’d spoken. A tall, lanky creature with pale skin leaned against the bar, propping herself up with her elbows. Her abnormally long fingers curled around the neck of a dark-colored bottle as she took a swig from it, allowing it to fall to the floor and shatter when she was finished. The crash made Rose jump, but Rey kept her gaze steady on the Palliduvan as she approached.

“Everyone around here knows I’m the best sabaac player this sector of the Outer Rim,” she bragged, her crooked smile full of pride. “Anyone entering thinking they’ll beat me is a damn fool.”

“That’s me. Resident fool here,” Poe joked, raising his glass to her. “Best of luck to you – oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t get your name.”

“You don’t need to know my name,” she spat, bracing herself on the table and leaning in close to Poe. She was vicious in every sense of the word.

“Fair enough,” he said, swirling his whiskey before downing it in one gulp. “See you tonight.”

The Palliduvan straightened up and spun around to walk away, but her gaze lingered on Rey for a moment longer than it should’ve. She was grateful that her scarf was hiding everything but her eyes, because she couldn’t keep the unease off her face.

“Where you from?” she asked Rey, looking her up and down suspiciously.

“Nowhere,” Rey answered, almost mechanically.

She laughed sarcastically. “Wherever you’re from, I hope you’re there tonight to see me wipe the floor with your friend.” She jerked her head at Poe, who was definitely drunk by now. “Impressing a Jedi has always been a dream of mine.”

Rey’s breathing froze. “I’m not a Jedi, but I’m flattered,” she lied, hoping the hitch in her breath didn’t give her away. The Palliduvan stepped closer and leaned in close enough that Rey could feel her breath against her ear.

“I know who you are, and I’m willing to help you if it means getting of this goddamn planet and away from Kaplan.” Her voice was shaking when she said it. She stepped back and met Rey’s gaze for a moment, her eyes pleading with her for help, before she sauntered out of the cantina.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter wasn’t exactly what I’d planned on writing, but I like where it went and hopefully you do too


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things are still crazy, as most of you know. I’m out of work until May 4, and it’s been really getting me down. I’m sorry for the lack of updates; please forgive me. I love you all and I’m trying to find the energy to write, but it’s very hard. good vibes appreciated as I grind out the last few chapters of this story. I’m working on my other story a lot more bc it’s been coming a lot easier, so if you wanna keep up with out of range, go check out my other works. much love

“What the hell was that about?” Poe laughed far too loudly, but Rey had already followed her unexpected ally out into the street. She was making quick time, and Rey had to jog to catch up with her. She touched her shoulder, and the Palliduvan spun around defensively, slapping Rey’s hand away with a force that said she’d done this many times before to unwelcomed advances.

“How do I know you’re not bluffing?” Rey asked, her furrowed brows peeking out from underneath her scarf.

“If you really think I’m staying on this planet by choice, then you’re dumber than I thought,” she shot back, a mix of anger and hurt in her words. Rey’s lack of response caused her to soften slightly before continuing. “I got into some gambling trouble with Kaplan, and he said the only way to call it even was to work for him. Been at his beck and call ever since.” She scoffed and mumbled “what a fucking prick,” almost too quiet for Rey to hear. She extended her wrist, and Rey noticed a blinking green light flashing beneath her skin. “It’s a tracker. If I go offworld without his permission, I’m dead.”

Rey turned her attention from the tracker up to her face. The sadness in her eyes was enough for Rey to know she was being truthful. “How are you planning on helping us?” she asked, still unsure of this whole situation.

“They’re planning an ambush tonight,” the Palliduvan said in a hushed tone. “He’s hoping it’ll be easier with everyone at the sabaac tournament. Kaplan will be there with me, but the rest of his hunters will spring the attack once the tournament is underway.”

“How many is he planning on sending in the ambush?” Rey asked earnestly. She hadn’t noticed when, but her hands had begun shaking.

“He’s got so many low-lifes under his thumb that owe him, it’ll be at least fifteen, but probably more,” she speculated. “Especially with who they’re going after. He doesn’t want to risk another massacre like the one on Coruscant.”

Rey stood silent, taking it all in, trying to formulate a plan on the fly. If this creature was being truthful, their situation was more dire than expected, and they were significantly outnumbered.

“Honey, I know what you’re trying to do, and sometimes you can’t always be a hero,” said the Palliduvan, extending a hand and placing it on Rey’s shoulder. “Sometimes it’s better to run.”

“I’m not doing that,” she huffed. “I’ve been running for much longer than I’ve wanted to. I’m tired of running. I’m ending this now, and if that means we have to fight off ten or twenty or even fifty thugs, then so be it.” Her upper body was trembling now, and angry tears began forming in her eyes. Giving up was no longer an option, and gods help her, she was going to end this, even if every odd was stacked against her.

The creature stared at her with admiration, the look of sadness slowly being replaced with a renewed hope. “You’re feisty. I like it. I can help you, but if things go south, there’s not much I’ll be able to do from inside the bar,” she explained.

“All we need you to do is stall as long as you can,” Rey said. “Once we’re done with the ambush, we’re coming down to the cantina and finishing off Kaplan, once and for all. And then you’re free.”

“I’m not convinced, but I’m willing to try anything if freedom is at the other end,” she shrugged.

“Once we get inside, take cover, just in case things do go south,” Rey warned. “I’m ten-to-zero at getting out of bad situations, but I always manage to get into them in the first place. Especially with the one Kaplan is after.”

The creature laughed. “Sounds like you two are perfect for each other.”

Rey chuckled to herself. The creature checked her surroundings before taking a few steps backwards. “I’ll see you when I see you – whatever your name is,” she said, turning around and walking in the direction of the motel. Rey considered offering her name, but knew their trust had been established already, so there wasn’t much need.

Rey headed back to the cantina, where her friends had stayed to hash out a plan. Finn was arguing with Poe, who seemed to be disagreeing just for the fun of it, and Rose and Chewie were discussing their own plan while the guys yelled at each other. They all stopped talking when they saw Rey.

“What did she say to you?” Finn asked, relieved to be free of his argument with Poe.

“She said there’s going to be an ambush tonight, and Kaplan is going to be at the tournament with her,” Rey relayed. “I think our best bet is to have Poe and Finn in the cantina to keep an eye on things, while Rose and Chewie stake out in the cliffs where the Falcon is parked. If any of the hunters make it past them and into the ship, Ben and I can finish them off. Once they’re all taken out, we’ll come to the cantina and wait for Kaplan to leave, and then we kill him.” She was expecting to be met with at least some protest, but everyone nodded in agreement.

“I think I’m gonna need a nap to sober up before tonight,” Poe mumbled, struggling to sit up straight. Finn scooted out of the booth and dragged Poe out behind him, slinging one arm over his shoulder while Rose grabbed the other arm and helped him stand. Poe giggled drunkenly at the state he was in and dragged his feet along the floor as the group made their way out of the cantina. Rey was the last one to leave, lingering for a moment to commit her surroundings to memory. Once she’d taken it all in, she turned towards to door to join her friends and bumped into a tall form that reeked of body odor and stale alcohol. She stumbled back and was about to push past the person blocking her path, but she froze when she realized who it was.

“I was hoping to see you again,” Kaplan said with a smile that made Rey want to crawl into a hole. “Not every day you’re graced with the presence of an angel.”

He reached up to move Rey’s scarf from her face, and she wasted no time swatting it away with much greater force than she needed. He caught her wrist, and the touch of his calloused palm against her skin was enough for her to kill him right here on the spot. A sickening smirk replaced the smile on his face, and he laughed at her act of protest. She ripped her arm from his grasp and ran out the door, desperate to get away from this place.

_Are you okay?_ Ben asked – more like demanded – over their bond. His anger was palpable, even though there were two miles between them.

Rey didn’t answer, but allowed him to read every emotion flying through her head. She felt so much all at once, and angry tears pooled in her eyes. All she wanted to do was be back on the Falcon, in Ben’s arms, for whatever time they had left before the ambush. The memories of gross men making comments about her appearance and reaching out to touch her as if they had a right to reminded her of Jakku and her old life, and she didn’t know it would affect her as much as it was, but she ran all the way back to the ship, past her friends, and didn’t stop until the Falcon was in view.


	17. UPDATE

I just wanted to let everyone know I am okay, but during this quarantine a lot of things have happened to take my focus away from writing. My mental health is getting better but was the worst it’s ever been in my life. I’m going back to work soon, so I’m hoping once that happens and I have some sort of structure in my life, I’ll be able to focus on this again. I’m so sorry for not updating, but I’ll be back. Much love. 


End file.
